


WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?

by samrenee2010



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:55:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22141405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samrenee2010/pseuds/samrenee2010
Summary: 35 ABY - 6 weeks after the defeat of The Final Order, Rey Skywalker is preparing to settle on Tatooine and pick up where Luke Skywalker left off. But she's reunited with her old group of friends for one final mission: finding a pure Kyber crystal last seen around the neck of a Rebellion hero believed dead days before the Battle of Yavin. This means getting closer to her fellow Resistance fighter, Poe Dameron, whom she didn't leave things on good terms with...0 BBY - Somehow they're alive. Jyn is alive. Cassian is alive. But how? The blast should have killed them. It destroyed everything else on Scarif, and somehow they are walking away with their lives. Could it be the necklace Jyn wears around her neck? Was this what her mother meant by "Trust the Force?" But that's the least of her worries now, because after getting close to Cassian, both of them have some explaining to do... all while running from the Empire.[Work is rated Mature, but will be Explicit for smut because I am trash, and yes I will warn you when you should skip those chapters if you don't wanna read it or if you're a child in which case... why are you on the Internet??]
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Poe Dameron/Rey
Comments: 56
Kudos: 135





	1. honestly i thought that i would be dead by now

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is something I've been wanting to write since The Last Jedi, but now after The Rise of Skywalker, it felt like it would be more appropriate considering where I wanted to go with the story. I knew it was risky, and it may not work, but yolo, amirite? We'll see how much feedback it gets. It may die with this one chapter. :P
> 
> Should this fic survive, it will primarily be a Damerey fic, but Rebelcaptain will be everywhere as well. And maybe, just maybe, we'll find out what happened after the blast on Scarif. Who knows?? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_For the debt I owe, gotta sell my soul_

_‘Cause I can’t say no, no, I can’t say no_

_Then my limbs all froze and my eyes won’t close_

_And I can’t say no, I can’t say no_

_Careful_

**35 ABY**

“Are you sure?” Rey asked as she walked along the corridor with Finn and Rose at the Resistance base. It had been two months since the defeat of Palpatine and the Final Order, and there were still a few stragglers behind with no real place to go even after the clean up. Rey had been back and forth between the base and Tatooine where she was planning on making a new life for herself at the Lars Homestead where Master Luke had grown up. She’d retrieved what little she had left behind on Jakku and brought it to the base where she was going to finish helping everyone settle before traveling back for good. But her plans, based on what Finn and Rose just told her, might end up taking a slight detour.

“It’s the last Jedi artifact left on the list,” Rose said. “It’s not huge, but it’s the _purest_ Kyber crystal in existence. And no one knows where it was last seen. Anyone who _might_ know is long dead.”

Finn interjected, “Many of the original members of the Rebellion have passed on, and General Calrissian wasn’t around early enough to be able to give us any information.”

Rey turned a corner, the others with her. “So which one is it?”

“The necklace,” Rose answered. “It’s the simplest thing: just a piece of a Kyber crystal with simple rope.

“And what makes us so sure anyone from the Rebellion would have known where it was?” Rey asked as they entered the main hanger, met by D-O and R2-D2.

Finn stopped in front of her. “Because there was a rumor that one of the rebel spies who stole the Death Star plans was seen wearing it before she died.”

“A _rumor_ , but something nonetheless,” Rose added. “It’s the only lead we have and it’s better than not having anything at all.”

Rey inhaled, trying to release her frustrations. “So what’s so special about this necklace?”

“It was a stolen piece of the Kyber from deep within Ilum,” Rose explained. “It’s the most pure piece there is, at least known to man, and there’s no telling what power it has.”

“Fascinating, but what’s it got to do with the Jedi?” Rey asked. Pure Kyber was hard to come by now that Ilum had been destroyed. Rey had to get creative to make her own lightsaber, which wasn’t perfect, but it was good enough… for now.

Finn said, “It could be studied and we could learn how to re-harvest pure Kyber. Ilum is gone, you know that. This is the last piece of it there is.”

Not true, of course, since Luke and Leia’s lightsabers had Kyber in them and they were buried on the Lars Homestead on Tatooine. But of course, it wasn’t pure, as Rose and Finn were suggesting was so important about this necklace with a piece of Kyber on it.

Rey sighed. “Fine. Who would even know where to begin looking for this Kyber crystal?”

“I believe _I_ can help with that, Mistress Rey,” C-3PO said from behind them as he hurried over. “You say anyone who was around in the early days of the Rebellion is long dead. That is simply incorrect.”

They all exchanged a glance. “What do you know, Threepio?” Finn asked once they all looked back at him.

“There’s _one_ member of the Rebellion who still lives. He retired many years ago after the death of his wife. You can find him on Yavin 4,” Threepio announced. “His name is Kes Dameron, a former Sergeant.”

“ _Dameron_?” Rose asked. “As in _Poe_?”

“Indeed!” Threepio responded. “Kes is General Dameron’s father.”

Rey was very nervous all of a sudden. She took a few steps back, her head spinning. The thought of Poe left her… uneasy. She hadn’t planned on seeing him for a long time, especially after the way they left things… but now she was going to have to face him. He’d gone back to Yavin 4 to help his father. There was no avoiding him if they had to track down his father.

Finn and Rose took note of the unease, and looked at her after realizing she wasn’t standing where she had been before. “Rey?” Finn asked. “Are you alright?” She knew he could sense something was wrong. He had the Force in him. They’d had a brief discussion about it before she left, and she planned to give him lessons in channeling it as Master Luke had with her.

Much had to be done before that, though.

“I’m fine,” Rey said as convincing as she could. “Well then…I guess we’re going to Yavin 4…”

-

**0 BBY**

_“Do you think anybody’s listening?”_

_“I do. Someone’s out there.”_

Jyn helped Cassian into the elevator, the both of them struggling after all they had endured. Both leaned against the wall as the lift took them down into the unknown, and she prayed that someone had received that transmission of the plans. May the Force Be with the Rebellion either way, plans or no plans.

She looked into Cassian’s eyes remembering the horror in her voice when she thought he’d died from the hit of the blaster and the fall afterwards. He was a big part of her determination to finish this. Him, her father, Kaytoo, Bodhi, Baze, Chirrut… everybody else, most of whom she didn’t know. But in that moment when he’d been shot, it was he alone that was her driving force.

And now that he was here, still alive by some miracle, she didn’t care what came next. She was with him. If she was going to step off of this elevator to her death, it would be worth it if Cassian Andor was at her side.

The look in his eyes… she had seen that look before. This time it was stronger somehow, if that was even possible. It was the way he was looking at her. Something about it resembled how her father used to look at her mother sometimes… a look of longing; adoration. Jyn wasn’t sure if Cassian actually intended it, but if they were going to die, she wasn’t going to waste the chance.

So she kissed him.

His lips were sweet, gentle, and the reciprocation made her heart skip a beat. Cassian’s arms were wrapped around her returning the kiss, and he deepened it as their descent came to an end. Jyn didn’t want to stop, but she had no choice. The lift came to a halt. They were at the bottom. And as she stared into Cassian’s eyes, she could see that look still there, but somehow it meant more to her.

They somehow managed to make it out of the building and onto the beach, falling to their knees at the shore. Cassian said, _“Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn.”_

She believed him. Galen, now one with the Force, reunited with his Lyra, was no doubt proud of her. Both of her parents were. Though her father had built the monster responsible for their mission, he was also a key role in helping her get to where she was. Jyn took Cassian’s hand, and they watched the sun as a blast from the Death Star landed far off in the distance.

This was it. This was their end.

Both on their knees, Jyn held Cassian close and stared off into the sun as the dust got closer. There was a warmness on her heart right where her necklace was, and she could only imagine it being the Force giving her some ease from her impending death. Her mother told her to trust in the Force. She was going to trust that everything would be okay…

And then: nothing.

-

**35 ABY**

The Falcon landed on Yavin 4 a handful of yards away from the home by the mountains where Threepio insisted was the home of the Dameron family. A nearby A-wing was all the confirmation Rey needed to know it was legitimate. In the co-pilots chair next to her, Chewie said something that made Rey smile. He’d been here before, perhaps only once, but he remembered it.

Behind her, Finn was leaning over her shoulder. “So this is where Poe grew up.”

“The home of the first major battle of the Galactic Civil War,” Rose added. “This is where it all took place.”

Not there specifically, but there was so much history on this planet. Rey was only now starting to get acquainted with the history of the Rebellion and the Empire, but it was still deeply overwhelming in the most wonderful way to be in a prime location of its lore. They all had to take a moment to look out the window before seeing an elderly man step out of the home. BB-8 was beside him, and immediately recognized the Falcon, darting for the ramp which Rey let down. Her orange and white friend raced up to greet her. She knelt down to his level and gave him a rub on his main body. “Hey there, BB-8.” The happily beeping droid declared that he had missed her. “I missed you too, Buddy!”

Beebee greeted all of the others onboard before rolling down the ramp in front of them and up to the steps of the house. The man standing before them held a cane, towering over them at the top. Chewie roared with happiness as the old man laughed. “Chewbacca! It’s been ages, my friend!” Chewie went up the stairs to hug his fellow Rebel veteran. “And is that R2-D2 and C-3PO I spot behind you?”

“Greetings Sergeant Dameron!” Therepio greeted. “It is so wonderful to see you!” Artoo chirped in agreement.

“Likewise, Threepio; Artoo,” Sergeant Dameron confirmed. “Now... who else have we here?” he asked as he looked past Chewie.

Rey stepped forward. “I’m Rey Skywalker, Sergeant Dameron. It’s an honor to meet you, Sir. This is Finn, and Rose Ticco, and D-O.”

The veteran smiled. “So you’re the famous Rey I keep hearing about.” Behind her, though she could not see them, Finn and Rose gave each other a knowing look with raised eyebrows. “May the Force Be With You, Master Skywalker.” Rey nodded. “I imagine you are here to see Poe. He’s in the back working on his X-wing. You’re welcome to go back.”

Rey nodded again. “Thank you, Sergeant Dameron.”

“Please,” he said with a smile, “call me Kes.”

“Thank you, Kes,” Rey said and walked around the house with Finn, Rose, and BB-8.

The little droid zoomed over to his Master underneath the X-wing behind his childhood home. He beeped ecstatically, which got Poe’s attention, and he looked up to find his friends coming towards him. Rey got nervous upon seeing him. It had been three weeks since he’d left the base, but four since they had seen one another. She remembered the last time they spoke, right before she had gone to Jakku to retrieve what little she had left there years ago. It was less than ideal...  
  
-

_FOUR WEEKS EARLIER_

A nervous Rey knocked on the door of Poe’s quarters at the rebel base. All around her people were packing up and saying their goodbyes now that the war was over. Some were sticking around for the full clean up and wouldn’t leave until the job was done and the homeless relocated, especially General Calrissian who was now the senior most member of the Resistance after the passing of General Organa two weeks earlier.

Rey herself was leaving tomorrow, but she would be back before cleanup and the relocation effort was finished. She was headed back to Jakku to get the few belongings she had and bring them to Tattooine where she was relocating for the time being. Her plan was to resume what Master Luke had started and train a new generation of Jedi. But she would do it in her own way, and try not to make the mistakes that he did. Learn from her Master. Both of them.

The door of Poe’s room slid open. He stood there surprised, which she expected because she’d come unannounced. “Rey,” he said.

“I’m sorry, I should have gotten on the com to tell you I was coming, but I was in a hurry,” she said. “May I come in?”

He stepped aside and let her pass, shutting the door behind her. Poe’s quarters were small, but then again so were everyone else’s. Most slept on cots or in their ships in the main hanger. Poe’s room was just big enough for him and his bed and a couple more people to stand in. It was far more roomy than where Rey was used to, which wasn’t saying much.

“What’s going on?” Poe asked as he turned around and met Rey’s face.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” she said. “I’ll be back, but there’s something I need to do on Jakku and then I’ll be returning to Tatooine to start cleaning up Master Luke’s old home. I promise I’ll return before everything here is done. And I have Finn, Rose, and Jannah’s team working on finding other lost Jedi artifacts in the meantime.”

Poe nodded. “So you’re really going through with it, huh?” There was a sadness in his voice that she picked up on immediately. “You sure Tatooine is the best place to train a new group of Jedi?”

“Perhaps not,” she admitted. “But it’s where I plan to start with a select few people before we expand.”

“What about the old Jedi Temple on Coruscant?” Poe asked. “We’re going to start building up the New Republic again there.” He sounded hopeful. And it was a huge hint to her that she really needed to consider it.

While that wasn’t the plan for now, she wouldn’t rule it out for the future. “I will keep an open mind.”

“I’ll remember that,” Poe told her. “And I hope you consider it.”

Rey’s stomach turned into a ball of knots. Poe made her nervous just by breathing. He was so undeniably handsome and intimidating, as well as infuriating and charismatic. Sometimes she found it hard to resist him. Well… perhaps, _all_ the time. “So… you’re staying awhile?”

“Actually,” he said, moving aside so she could see a half packed bag of clothing on the edge of his bed, “I’m leaving soon. My father’s… well, he’s getting worse, and he needs help at home. I’m all he has, and now that I survived this damn war by some miracle, I have to go to him. I don’t know how long I’ll have left with him and I want to make every moment count, you know?”

She nodded. “I do.” She never got that time with her parents. And she knew Poe’s mother had passed away when he was very young. As she understood it, he didn’t get to say a proper goodbye to her.

“So… I’ll be going once I’m sure everything here can be done without me,” Poe continued. “I trust Finn. And… since you’re coming back…”

Rey’s heart skipped a beat. “Yes?”

Poe suddenly became very awkward, something that didn’t happen to him a lot Rey had noticed. She was concerned he wasn’t going to be one hundred percent honest with her. When she’d called him “difficult” she’d meant it. All she wanted was for him to be up front with her. It didn’t seem like that was going to be the case. It left her with more questions though… she knew she’d done something recently that she wasn’t proud of by kissing Ben, but he was gone now and she was going to leave that in the past. Poe, on the other hand, probably wasn’t going to be up front with her because of… well, Zorii.

So when he didn’t say anything, Rey nodded. “I get it,” she said and turned to leave. “No big deal.”

“Rey!” Poe exclaimed, grabbing her arm. “Wait, I’m sorry, it’s just…”

The only reason she stopped was to humor him. Looking into his eyes, she said, “It’s fine, Poe, I get it. You don’t have to explain anything to me. We have to go back to the lives we were living before all of this started. And you can go running back to your girlfriend.”

She tried to leave again, but Poe pulled her back. He’d never let go of her arm to begin with, a lapse of judgment on his part, but it forced her to look back at him. “Whoa, _really_? You think I’m going to get back together with _Zorii_? _That’s_ what you think this is about?”

“Your lack of explanation would suggest so, and I heard you ask her if you could kiss her. I saw some of the looks you were giving her. It’s hard _not_ to think that’s what this is about.”

“Oh yeah, and what about Kylo Ren, huh?” he asked, a question that shocked her. “I heard you talking to Finn the other day. I know you kissed him. Mistake or not, Rey, you don’t really have any room to be jealous here.”

Her eyes widened and she laughed. It was more a laugh to try and hide the absurdity in its truth so Poe wouldn’t catch on. “You think I’m _jealous_?” She also knew it had been a mistake to tell Finn. Anyone could have heard her. But Finn had sensed something in her, and she had to own up to it. Otherwise she would never have told a soul.

“Yeah, I do, actually,” Poe answered.

She laughed harder. “Pretty presumptuous, don’t you think?”

“ _You_ tell _me_ ,” he challenged. “Presumptuous or not, Rey? Why would you even bring Zorii up unprovoked?”

“Because you can’t even admit that you _trust_ me!” Rey fired back. “For Force sake, Poe, I know we’re at each other’s throats a lot, but I have _always_ respected you. Perhaps I was stupid enough to think _you_ could respect _me_.”

“I _do_ respect you,” he admitted. “And I _do_ trust you. There, is _that_ what you want to hear?”

“I’m not sure I can even believe it now,” Rey said. “I basically had to provoke it out of you, and maybe you’re just saying it so I’ll leave.”

Poe pressed his lips together briefly and nodded. “You really think that?” She said yes. “Do you really, _really_ think that? That I would just straight up _lie_ to you like that? Is that _really_ what you think of me, Rey?”

“You haven’t given me any reason not to,” she answered. And he hadn’t. If he couldn’t admit it to her unprovoked, it was hard to know if she could really trust him. He’d done a lot of things in the past to get on her nerves and he was such a confusing man, but something about that drew her to him. How stupid was she? Was it any more stupid than kissing Ben?

“Yeah, well, how’s _this_ for a reason?” Poe asked her, following by pulling her closer and pressing his lips to hers.

Rey was stunned. Poe was… he was… _wow_ , he was really good. She melted at the touch of his lips on hers, her entire body relaxing. What was happening to her? She found herself kissing him back, their lips parting and limbs wrapping around one another as Poe backed her into a wall. Rey was getting lost in the kisses, rough and full of power, and not just on his end. She was hungry for him in a way she hadn’t actually realized.

So why was it that after a few minutes she pushed him away, panic on her face, said, “I’m sorry,” and ran out?

-

_PRESENT DAY_

Poe came over to them, his eyes locked with Rey’s. “What are you guys doing here?” he asked. But what he really meant to ask was why was _she_ here? He hadn’t left things in an awkward state of mind with Finn or Rose. Rey, on the other hand, well… that was another story entirely.

Rey cleared her throat after a moment. “Um… we’re here to see your father actually. We just met him, but, we also knew you were here, and he presumed we were here for you so…”

He nodded. “So you’re just… humoring him?” Rey didn’t like his tone, but she supposed she deserved it. After returning his kiss and leaving like a fool, she had some explaining to do. Now wasn’t the time though, nor was she sure Yavin 4 was the place. They had bigger goals ahead of them at the moment.

“Look… we’re here to see if he knows anything about one of the Rebellion spies who took part in the stealing of the Death Star plans,” Finn said, breaking up the tension between Poe and Rey. “Apparently she was wearing a necklace with a Kyber crystal on it?”

Poe looked at Finn. “Jyn?”

“You know her?” Rose asked.

“Well not personally,” he said. “She died two years before I was born after the Death Star sent a blast down to the base of Scarif. But my mother told me stories about the Rogue One team. Jyn Erso, Captain Cassian Andor, his droid K-2SO… they weren’t a big crew, but they all died doing a great service for the Rebellion.”

“Would your father happen to know anything about her? About the necklace?” Rey asked, hoping that Kes wouldn’t be a dead end. He was one of the few Rebellion veterans left alive that could have had any knowledge whatsoever of Jyn Erso and her rumored Kyber crystal necklace.

A voice then came from behind them. “ _“Would I?”_ ” Rey, Finn, and Rose all turned around to see Kes standing there with the droids and Chewbacca. “Of course I would. I saw her wearing it the same day she lead Rogue One to Scarif.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well if you liked it, let me know, and it may motivate me to write more. I wanna take my time with it, if so, because I know there's quite a lot going on here, and I wanna do it the right way. Also Damerey and Rebelcaptain forever! <3
> 
> Song lyrics in the intro are from "bury a friend" by Billie Eilish from the album this fic is named after.
> 
> Last thing, I didn't exactly proof this so there might be some boo boos in there. :P


	2. looking back now i'm sure i wanted you more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very surprised at the response and all the hits this fic got, but the first chapter isn't really the test. Chapter two determines how many people come back to keep reading. And believe me, two days is restraint for me. I took my time, actually wrote this between taking calls at work, and I hope this works out! Like the chapter before, it wasn't really proof read, so there might be some grammatical boo boos. Enjoy!

_My heart was open, exposed and hopin'_

_  
For you to lay it on the line_

_  
In the end it seemed_

_  
There was no room for me_

_  
Still I tried to change your mind_

****

**0 BBY**

The ringing in her ears was so low it was just enough to drive her insane. Was she alive? Or was this what the Force sounded like once you became one with it? Jyn had to open her eyes slowly, her head pounding, the main point of it in her eyes. After that blinding light, of course it would be. It took a moment to adjust to her surroundings, and she had to stop and think about what she was looking at. Was this what death was? It looked an awful lot like Scarif...

Jyn used what strength she had to push herself up out of the sand, finding she was half buried in it, and looked further from her surroundings. The top of the base had been destroyed and most of it in pieces. The building looked incredibly unstable now. The water was gone now as well, the sand damp where it used to rest, but no indication otherwise that any water used to be there.

The sand moved next to her, and it suddenly occurred to her that Cassian had been with her. “Cassian?” she asked. Her voice was weak, hoarse, but still full of worry. She shifted slightly and started digging in the sand with the small amount of energy she had left in her, determined to find Cassian whether he be dead or alive. It took what seemed like ages, but finally she found Cassian’s arm and pulled him up above the sand.

“Cassian!” she exclaimed, adrenaline now hitting her. His body was still warm as she hugged him, but he was unconscious. Thank God. If his body was cold, he would have been gone for good. His pulse was weak, but he was lucky to have a pulse at all. She rubbed his back and repeated his name, willing to try anything to wake him up.

She was about to start crying, panic setting over her when he wasn’t responding. The horror filled her entire body, the tears brimming in her eyes, when suddenly she heard a grunt come from Cassian’s body. “Cass?”

Jyn let him down on the sand gently, watching him stir. He squinted as his eyes began to open. The horror didn’t fully begin to settle until his eyes were all the way open. He looked around for a moment before his eyes settled on her. “Jyn?”

A massive smile crossed her face and the tears in her eyes started to flow at full from happiness. “You’re okay!” she sighed. “Force, Cassian, you’re okay!”

Cassian winced as he tried to sit up, then clutched at his side. “Kriff!” he grunted. 

“Careful,” she said as she put her hand over his gently. 

Cassian looked around some more. Jyn wasn’t sure if he was disoriented or just trying to get a feel for his surroundings. It wasn’t until he looked back and asked, “How are we alive? Or... are we alive?”

Jyn shook her head. “I don’t know. I think so? This doesn’t feel like... death. But I also don’t know what death is supposed to feel like.”

“If this is it, I don’t like it,” he said. He looked up into the sky and noted, “It’s gone. The fleet... the Rebellion; the Empire.” Jyn followed his gaze, noting the same. Everyone had left. Surely the Empire would have stuck around to clean up their base. But there was no ship in sight, not in the sky, not even on the ground, at least not one that looked functional.

“Maybe we can find a working ship... or at least get one fixed up enough so it’s functional. At least enough to get back to Yavin 4. We need to get back to the base.”

Cassian inhaled deeply. “I...I hope they got the plans.”

“I do too,” Jyn agreed. She looked around some more. They were going to have to get up and move if they were going to find a working ship or something that could be quickly fixed. Either way, they would have to move if they were going to get off this planet.

Looking at Cassian again, she offered her hand and said, “Come on. We have to go.” He took her hand and she pulled gently, wrapping her arm around his back and standing with him. Their best bet was to go towards the base even with as structurally unsound as it appeared. So Jyn supported him as they stumbled their way there.

-

**35 ABY**

Kes brought over a tray of tea for all of them, setting it down on the table in the dining room of the house. Rey, Finn, and Rose all took one, but Poe left his on the tray. Before he’d brought over the tea, Kes had placed a small holograph projector in the center of the table and it displayed an image of Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor along with their names and ranks. Kes sat down at the table as Rey asked, “So you saw Jyn Erso wearing the necklace the day she died?”

“I did,” Kes answered, taking his own cup of tea off of the tray. “She wore it always, never took it off for anything. The Rebellion didn’t know her for long, but we knew the necklace was made of Kyber. It was a gift from her mother, Lyra.”

“What all do you know about her?” Finn asked.

Kes shifted in his seat. “Her father was a scientist for the Empire. His name was Galen Erso, and according to Imperial records, he was the person who designed the Death Star. He was forced into the project by its overseer, Orson Krennic, a top Imperial official at the time. Jyn managed to escape during the capture, but her mother was killed in trying to assassinate Krennic.”

“So what happened to her?” Rey asked. “After that; before she wound up with the Rebellion, I mean?”

“As far as I know, she was a part of Saw Gerrera’s band of rebels,” Kes answered. “She went off on her own after a job split them up, but she was rescued by the Alliance when the Empire captured her just days before the Battle of Yavin. They wanted to know about what her father was building, though she had no idea as she hadn’t seen her father in years.”

Rose asked, “What happened?”

“Well she helped them track down her father after a tip from an Imperial defector came in. They found him, but he died after the Alliance killed him. The next day she and a band of rebels stole an impounded Imperial ship and went to steal the plans. The last anyone ever saw of her was at the Rebel base here on Yavin 4.”

“How did her mother acquire a piece of Kyber?” Finn asked. “Was she a Jedi?”

Kes took a sip of his tea before he answered. “No, she was a scientist, same as Galen. She studied the Kyber on Ilum. My guess is she took a piece of Kyber and made it into a necklace.”

Poe added, “Kyber was the primary ingredient in the weapon on the Death Star. That’s why The First Order built Starkiller Base at Ilum.”

“And now that it’s all gone, we have nothing left to build our lightsabers with,” Rey added. The means she had to go through to create her own lightsaber weren’t ideal, but it would do for now until they could get a hold of the Kyber crystal... if they could even find it.

Finn’s tone suddenly changed from curiosity to confusion. “Wait a minute... if she died, why doesn’t the Resistance have the necklace?” That was a good point, and left Rey and Rose curious also.

“When the Rebellion went back to Scarif days after the Battle of Yavin, they searched for the bodies of their dead. They found nearly everybody in some fashion... except Jyn and Captain Andor. Their bodies just... vanished.”

“So the Empire could have gotten their hands on them?” Rose asked.

“Or they were obliterated by the blast,” Finn offered.

Kes shrugged, shaking his head. “It’s hard to know. We always presumed them dead and revered them as heroes. They made Jyn an honorary Sergeant after her death, and they named an entire squadron of fliers after Rogue One. But her body and Cassian’s were never found.”

Rey sighed and closed her eyes. She tried to relax despite her frustration with where to even begin searching for this necklace. If Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor were never found, the necklace could be lost to the ages. “Can we see the base? Is it far from here?” Rey asked. She wasn’t entirely sure what provoked her to ask that, but it was the last place anyone that didn’t fight on Scarif had seen Jyn live. It could be a dead end, but they wouldn’t know unless they went there.

“We can hop on the Falcon right now. Artoo, do you remember where it is?” Kes asked their blue and white friend. “Can you program in the coordinates?” Artoo beeped happily. “Alright, then it’s settled.”

“If you don’t mind, Dad, I’d rather stay behind,” Poe announced as he looked at his father.

Kes looked between him and Rey. Of course he knew the reason why. Rey figured Poe had confided in his father about what happened between them. His earlier comment from the porch came back into her head and she suddenly realized what he meant. 

“Why?” Finn asked before Kes could agree to it. He was almost angry that Poe had asked to stay behind.

Poe looked at Finn. “I won’t be much help. Besides, I have... things to do here.”

Before Finn could object any further, Kes stood up. “It’s fine, Son. I have some fuel you can have for the Falcon if she needs it. Otherwise we can get going.”

Everyone else besides Rey stood. They began to leave, but she said, “Poe...”

He and Kes stopped, Poe turning his attention to her.

“May I speak with you for a moment?”

-

**0 BBY**

“It’s rough,” Cassian told Jyn from under the X-wing they found that was in somewhat working shape. “But it’s the best one we’ve found so far. I don’t know if it’ll get better than this. The inside of the building might have something else, if it wasn’t all destroyed by the collapse of the tower.”

Jyn nodded as she leaned against the side, her blaster in hand in case anyone showed up. It seemed like they were alone here, but she couldn’t know that for sure. “Do you know how to fly an X-wing?”

“Barely, but I know enough to at least set the auto-pilot to Yavin 4.”

“Guess it’s better than nothing,” Jyn said, looking over her shoulder.

Cassian came out from underneath. “We should check the hanger before committing to this. We might find something better.”

She nodded. “Definitely. An X-wing is a tight squeeze anyway.” If she didn’t have to get in there, she didn’t want to.

They made their way to the hanger, Cassian still needing a little bit of support. As soon as they got into the building, they found an emergency kit to tend to Cassian’s wound so Jyn had him sit down and pull his shirt off so she could access it. Cassian hissed when she applied the Bacta to it, but he relaxed after a moment. It didn’t sting for long. Bacta worked incredibly quick, though he would have to keep the bandages applied for awhile. At least it was tended to before it got worse.

Jyn felt awkward being his nurse for the simple fact that she was seeing him without his shirt on. She remember the kiss they shared in the elevator, and part of her wondered whether or not that was because they were about to die and they had been caught up in the moment. For her, it was possibly more than that. Cassian infuriated her, but in the end he’d come through and saved her life. And she had to admit he was extremely handsome. Seeing him shirtless just... it made her feel things she had never felt before. Not just arousal, but more.

Cassian put his shirt back on and the two of them adventured further into the hanger. Most of the hanger had collapsed in, and it was empty so that didn’t help any. Jyn cleared them a path down to the stairs that would bring them into the lower level and they found a small cruiser. Unfortunately it was low on fuel. “Kriff,” Jyn cursed. “Do you think we could siphon fuel from the X-wing and the other broken ships?”

“Possibly,” Cassian said. “I mean, it has a decent amount of fuel but I doubt it’s enough to get us to Yavin 4.”

“Any amount of fuel could help us at this point,” Jyn offered. Cassian knew she was right.

The two of them set off to find anything and everything they could use to siphon fuel from other somewhat intact fighters and got to work once they had what they needed. It took several hours, and they were exhausted by the time they finished. Every single flying vehicles they could find in the area they drained fuel from, but it wasn’t much. 

Getting onboard the ship, they sat at the controls and hoped for a miracle. The ship stalled for a moment before starting up, and it was a relief. They both smiled and laughed, hugging briefly before they set the coordinates for Yavin 4. Once that was done, Cassian got them off the ground and out of the hanger, flying up into the atmosphere and jumped into hyperspace.

Once they got into hyperspace, they knew it was going to be awhile to get to Yavin 4, plenty of time for them to get some rest. They went to the back of the cruiser and found there was only one personal room for sleeping. They looked at one another and began to speak at the same time, but Cassian said, “Go ahead,” after they stopped.

“You should take the bed,” Jyn insisted.

“No!” Cassian refused. “Absolutely not. You take it, please.”

“Cassian you’re still recovering from your blaster wound. Sleeping on the floor wouldn’t be ideal for you at this point,” Jyn explained her reasoning. “Please, Cassian, I insist. I wouldn’t feel right. Besides I’ve slept in way more compromising positions than this ship has to offer.”

Cassian sighed. “Alright. But if... if things get uncomfortable, you’re welcome to kick me out.”

She nodded. “Noted. Now... goodnight, Cassian,” she said.

“Goodnight, Jyn,” he wished her.

Jyn gave him a small grin, then left the room, heading up to the cockpit and settling into the co-pilots chair. It wasn’t ideal, but having Cassian sleep like this was worse. So she got as comfortable as she could and closed her eyes.

-

**35 ABY**

Kes had left the room, so Poe was alone with Rey. “Can we talk about what happened?” she asked. “Please?”

Poe crossed his arms and shifted his footing. “What’s there to say? I kissed you and you ran away.”

Rey pursed her lips together and licked them. It was out of frustration, but she could almost taste Poe’s lips still on hers four weeks later. The memory was... well, she couldn’t think like that now.

“So say what you have to say because I have nothing,” Poe said. “In fact, it’s probably better that we don’t see one another outside of official matters, Master Skywalker.”

That stung. He was so formal and cold with her, she imagined it was the equivalent of being stabbed with a lightsaber. And not just anywhere, but right through her heart. “Poe, I’m—I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting that and I freaked out because... I guess because I was scared.”

He nodded. “Well, you don’t have to be scared anymore. It’s done. And we don’t have to see one another anymore.” Poe turned to leave.

Rey jumped up from her seat and said, “Poe, _please_! _Say_ something other than that! I understand you’re angry, but _talk_ to me! I think I deserve an explanation as to why you kissed me in the first place!” She was trying not to cry, but it wasn’t enough to keep the tears from brimming.

Poe sighed. He didn’t turn around, but he did turn his head slightly. “Just... forget about it. It was an impulse. It didn’t...”

She waited for him to finish. When he hadn’t after a few seconds, she asked, “Didn’t... what?”

When Poe finally answer, it destroyed her.

“It didn’t mean anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment if you liked it, for comments determine how much I keep posting!
> 
> Song lyrics in the intro are from "Wanted You More" by Lady Antebellum
> 
> Also here is a link to my Damerey playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmBcl4rjaFzJJWup_8ReSc04h0L5TPUUc (Sorry I don't have Spotify lmaoooo). One for RebelCaptain will appear eventually.


	3. i get scared sometimes when i see all the connections happening around me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **** EXPLICIT WARNING: This chapter contains smut! ****
> 
> I'm gonna be honest, I fell out of the writing game for awhile, especially when it came to fanfiction, and I had a blank moment when it came to ratings. For all intents and purposes, this fic is Mature, but I WILL warn you when there is Explicit content. I also edited the story summary as such to reflect this, but I left the main rating at Mature.
> 
> So feel free to skip (maybe? It's kind of important to the plot? (you'll see if you actually read it)) if you're not into Explicit content, or if you're a child, but I must ask... if you are a child, why are you on the Internet???? Go outside and play with a ball or fall off a skateboard or something!
> 
> Also permanent disclaimer: I am not great at proof reading.

_They say that love is a game_

_  
Only played by the dumbest of fools_

_  
That the feeling's elusive_

_  
And what can you do with a ruse?_

**35 ABY**

The Falcon landed at the old Rebel base on Yavin 4, and the group descended the ramp taking it all in. There was nothing here anymore, but the structure remained and it was breathtaking. Rey, despite her shattered heart, smiled. This was a piece of history. Master Luke has been here. He’d destroyed the Death Star in the space just above this base. Han Solo and Chewie had helped him in the Falcon. Master Leia had been here. 

So had Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor.

Venturing into the base, Rey started looking around, letting the Force take control of her focus should anything call out to her. Rose and Finn stuck together; Kes sat down with Chewbecca and the droids, except for Artoo who followed Rey, at the entrance on an old crate.

It progressively became more and more dark as Rey wandered throughout the base, down into the lower level. She trusted in the Force to guide her, knowing that if there was anything here it would show her the way. If Jyn and Cassian left anything in these halls that hadn’t been taken, it could be a clue to finding them or discovering their resting place. The place was bare, though, and not much remained after the Rebels had cleaned it up and moved on to Hoth. Artoo used his scanner to help, wandering away from Rey once they reached the lower level of the base.

_“Cassian.”_

Rey whirled around when she heard the whisper from a female voice.

_“Jyn.”_

Again back to where she’d been facing, this time having heard the male voice.

“Hello?” she asked.

She closed her eyes and took a breath. The Force was trying to call out to her. She asked the force to help her, and she felt as though she was being pulled to the right. Rey opened her eyes and let her body travel where it was going to travel. It led her to a door where she could swear she heard people on the other side. 

A control panel on the side of the door lit up making her heart jump. And when nothing else happened for a few moments following, she pushed the control to open the door. It slid open and Rey’s eyes met a sight she wasn’t sure was real.

-

**0 BBY**

Jyn couldn’t sleep.

She was uncomfortable, sure, but that wasn’t the problem. Right now it was the idea of being alone. She should have been used to being alone, she’d spent so much time without other beings, but for some reason she wanted to be with somebody. And though she didn’t want to intrude on Cassian’s space, he _did_ say she was welcome to kick him out... however, that wasn’t what she planned on doing.

Getting up, Jyn wandered back to the room where Cassian was asleep. He’d taken his shirt off, and his utility belt was put off to the side along with his boots. Kriff, he was so good looking. Jyn was finding it hard to resist her feelings. She’d only planned on coming back here to share the bed with him, but with certain feelings stirring up inside of her, she might end up sharing more with him.

Jyn slipped out of her boots and took her vest and gloves off, setting them off to the side where Cassian’s things were. She then proceeded to take her shirt off and her pants before lifting the covers and sliding into the bed with Cassian.

Cassian stirred, waking up when he felt the bed move, and was surprised to find Jyn there with far less clothing than she’d had on before. “Jyn?” he asked, still somewhat asleep.

“Shh,” she said. “Don’t talk.” She slid her arms around his neck and gave in to her feelings. Jyn pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss which he reciprocated.

The two of them only kissed for a few moments before Cassian tugged at her undershirt and pulled it over her head, revealing her breasts which he ran a hand over and squeezed one before the other. Jyn gasped, moaning in pleasure. “ _Cassian,_ ” she whispered.

His lips crashed in to hers again, the two of them devouring one another. She could feel his cock getting hard under his pants, so she reached down and popped the button out of its socket, pushing the pants down with his help along with his boxers. The erect cock sprung free of the fabrics when they were down far enough.

Jyn took him in her hand and started stroking, Cassian cursing in pleasure while she did her work. His cock was so big, she was getting wetter with each stroke. She wanted to be close to him. She needed that contact. It had been so long since she’d been with anybody, but being with Cassian meant something more to her.

Cassian spun her around so she was forced to let go of his cock and slid a hand into her panties, teasing her between her lips with his middle finger. Jyn moaned again, whimpering when he started rubbing over her clit. “ _Cassian!_ ” she exclaimed quietly. Force, he was good.

“You’re so wet, Jyn,” Cassian whispered in her ear.

“ _Kriff_ , Cassian, make me cum,” she begged. “I want you to make me cum.”

“Tell me how you want it, Jyn,” Cassian instructed.

“Don’t stop,” she told him. “Please don’t stop.”

Cassian continued rubbing her clit and stuck his finger inside her pussy. Jyn gasped, crying out and wrapped an arm behind her around Cassian’s neck. He rubbed her clit with his thumb and moved his middle finger in and out as she continued to whimper, begging him for more. Eventually she couldn’t take it anymore and told him to stop, sitting up and ripping her panties off with Cassian’s help. She then pushed Cassian onto his back and straddled him, guiding his cock inside of her.

-

**35 ABY**

_“Kriff, Cassian.”_

_“Jyn.”_

Rey’s eyes couldn’t look away. She held the doorframe gently, not sure if what she was seeing was real. Rey had never witnessed two people being intimate with one another, but this had to be a figment of her imagination. Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso, had they survived, would have been much older than she was seeing them now.

They couldn’t have been any older than 30 here.

The two were in the throws of passion, Jyn riding Cassian with her head thrown back and her eyes closed. Rey felt awkward staring, but she couldn’t look away... especially as she noticed the only thing Jyn was wearing: a necklace. And the stand out feature of it was a bright crystal. Kyber.

How did she know if this was before or after the Battle of Scarif? Who would have known whether or not Cassian and Jyn were sexually involved prior to the events of that day? Everyone but Kes was dead, and she doubted Kes would know such an intimate detail like that. He never exactly interacted with Jyn, only observed that the necklace was on her before Rogue One left to steal the plans.

Despite wanting to leave, Rey had to stay until she could determine whether or not this was real. She took a step further into the room, going to touch a chair with what appeared to be most of the couple’s clothes on it, but when she did her hand went right through it. This was a vision. She was in it, but couldn’t interact with anything or anyone she was seeing.

Cassian flipped the two of them around, and Rey watched the couple continue to have sex. The way Cassian touched Jyn was... it was gentle; caring; passionate. She envied Jyn Erso, a woman who had another person be so tender with her and confident enough to act on his feelings with her. 

Then again... Poe had acted on his feelings. _Rey_ had been the one who ran away. There’s no telling what might have happened had she stayed.

Jyn cried out, her hand supporting her on the wall behind her, and Cassian cursed as he stopped thrusting. He collapsed on top of her, and the two stared at one another for a moment before sharing a deep, passionate kiss... something reminiscent of the kiss Rey had shared with Poe.

 _“I’m sorry,”_ Jyn said after their kiss broke.

 _“For what?”_ Cassian asked, confused.

 _“Disturbing your sleep. You were so peaceful but... I just couldn’t help myself,”_ she said, a smirk crossing her lips.

Cassian mirrored the smirk. _“This was more relaxing than any sleep I’ve ever had, Jyn.”_

The two smiled and kissed again. Rey stood there waiting for any indication of time to present itself. Nothing in the room was a hint, so her only hope was that the visions of Jyn and Cassian said something to give her a clue.

At least Rey knew she was wearing the necklace. But if this was before the Battle of Scarif, she was hitting a dead end.

 _“Do we need to talk about this?”_ Jyn asked him.

 _“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,”_ Cassian answered. _“This can be whatever you want it to be.”_

Jyn swallowed. _“Honestly... I don’t know what I want this to be. The only thing I know for sure is I feel things for you that I’ve_ never _felt before. When you were shot and fell in the tower, I thought for sure that you were dead. Then... you weren’t. Without you... I don’t know that we would have succeeded in getting the plans.”_

Rey’s heart stopped. They survived? Or... was this the Dark Side of the Force playing a trick on her? She closed her eyes to calm her mind, but when she opened them, she was still seeing the Rebel heroes in bed together.

 _“I wasn’t going to leave you alone,”_ Cassian declared. _“I would have used every last bit of energy in me to make sure I could get to you, even if it meant I died in the process.”_

 _“But you didn’t,”_ Jyn said, touching his cheek. _“You’re here. You’re the only one left.”_

 _“No,”_ Cassian said. _“_ You’re _here. And we’re going to face whatever comes next together.”_

 _“I’ll face the Emperor himself as long as you’re by my side,”_ Jyn told him. _“Let’s hope the Rebellion can destroy the Death Star first.”_

Rey knew for sure now that this was after the Battle of Scarif. Jyn and Cassian had survived. Whether or not they were still alive, though, was the bigger question. Of course they hadn’t made it back to the Rebels so... where in the Force did they end up? What happened to them?

The vision of the couple faded around her, and suddenly Rey was standing in a dark, cold and empty room. She shook her head and looked back at the door. Artoo was standing there beeping. “I found something,” she told the droid. “Let’s go tell the others.”

Back on the main level, Rey called for Finn and Rose to join them at the entrance and told them when they had all gathered around, “I had a... a _vision_. The Force showed me Jyn and Cassian. They survived the battle. I saw them in a room... Jyn had the necklace on, and they were talking about what happened on Scarif.”

“So if they survived, why did they never rejoin the Rebellion?” Finn asked.

She shook her head. “I don’t know,” she said. “That’s all I saw. I know Jyn had the necklace on and it was after the battle.”

“What else did you notice?” Kes asked. “The smallest detail could tell us where they were at and help us retrace their steps.”

Rey closed her eyes, trying to remember the vision she had lived, and scan the room for any clues about their whereabouts. She noticed the window, and observed it was blue outside. “They were in Hyperspace,” Rey said, her eyes still closed. “So they’re on a ship... they somehow made it off Scarif.”

“Anything else?” Kes asked.

She looked around some more. There had to be something in the room that would tell her more. _Come on,_ she thought. _Give me something._

All of her focus was on the room. She was relaxed, calm, and centered on the details. It wasn’t until she looked outside the door that she noticed an Imperial symbol on the wall of the ship. She also saw the cockpit, and noticed the fuel levels. There wasn’t a lot they were working with. So they had stolen an Imperial cruiser, a smaller one by the looks of it, and they probably weren’t able to travel far if she was guessing correctly. That didn’t mean anything, though, depending on how full the tank was when they started. She was grasping at straws here, but it was the only thing she had to go on.

Opening her eyes, Rey said, “They were on an Imperial cruiser, probably something they hijacked from Scarif. And from what I could tell, their fuel levels were low. Depending on how much they started with, they wouldn’t have been able to travel far.”

Kes nodded. “They definitely wouldn’t have had time to get back to Yavin 4. So your next task would be to search the systems surrounding Scarif.”

“Artoo,” Rose said, “Do you have a map of that?”

The droid beeped and projected a holo-map between them. Scarif was in the Outer Rim territories near Tatooine and Geonosis. If they were heading to Yavin 4, it wasn’t likely they would have headed backwards unless they knew they weren’t going to get to the nearest planet in that direction.

Rose stepped into the map. “Tatooine is the closest planet, but if they were trying to reunite with the fleet they would have needed to travel in the opposite direction. Rodia also isn’t likely, but it at least would have had them traveling in a better direction.”

Finn pointed to the map. “Do you think they could have made it as far as Bothawui?” That was the next major planet headed in the right direction.

“It’s possible if they had enough fuel,” Rey answered. “We may want to explore all possible options.”

“Do you think we can recruit some help in looking?” Rose asked. “Jannah’s team can head there while we search Rodia and Tatooine.”

“I’ll get Jannah on the com and ask if they can leave ASAP,” Finn nodded. He left the hanger and went back to the ship.

Rey turned around and looked back into the hanger. Maybe there was something else here that would tell her something— _anything_ —that would help them. But she was getting nothing. The Force was coming up empty.

When Finn returned a few minutes later, he announced, “Jannah said she and her team will leave at first light. And Connix volunteered to gather a team to search should we need it, just tell her where she needs to go.”

They all looked back to the map. “It’s unlikely but can she scout Ruusan or Kashyyyk?” Rey asked. “I doubt they would have made it that far, but it’s better to look than not.”

“I’ll send her the message,” Finn said. “Anything else?”

Rey looked at Kes. “I suppose we should drop you off at your home before we leave.”

“It’s getting late,” Kes said. “You are all welcome to stay with Poe and I for the night. Get some rest before you head out.”

Admittedly they were all tired and hungry. It would probably do them some good to rest since they had been on-the-go from the moment they left Ajan Kloss. “Thank you, Kes,” Rey responded. “That’s very kind of you.”

They returned to the Falcon and flew back to the Dameron home where Poe was working on his X-wing in the back with BB-8. Rey remained on the ship while the others, except Finn, disembarked. Finn had begun to, but when he saw Rey wasn’t leaving the cockpit he stayed behind and sat in Chewie’s co-pilot chair. “What’s up?” he asked. “I can sense something’s going on with you again. My powers might not be as strong as yours, but I have enough knowledge to know when something is wrong.”

Rey sat back in her seat, slouched, and sighed. “It’s...all of this. Finn... I saw more than just Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor together. I saw them... _together_.” She looked at him, hoping she wouldn’t have to spell it out.

Thankfully Finn had the sense to know what she was talking about. Normally men were oblivious, at least according to Master Leia, but she and Finn were usually in sync. “They were lovers,” he observed.

“Yeah...” she said, trailing off as she looked back out the window. “The way they talked about one another, how she told him how scared she was when he got shot; how he would have died just to get back to her afterwards... they were in love. And they had only known one another a few days.”

Finn shifted in his seat. “And are you thinking about Kylo? Is that what you felt about him?”

She shook her head. “No... Like I said before, I don’t know why I kissed Ben. It was just... it just happened. Heat of the moment. If he had lived I... I don’t know what I would have done.”

After watching her for a few moments, Finn concluded, “You have feelings for someone else.” She didn’t react until he said, “Poe.”

Her head snapped in his direction. “What?”

“You’re in love with Poe,” he spelled out for her.

As if she didn’t already know she had at least some type of feelings for him, but Finn calling it “love” was pretty drastic. It was a slap to the face that she honestly didn’t know whether or not she needed or deserved.

“It’s okay, Rey,” Finn continued. “I noticed it long before this moment. But I knew something was going on between the two of you when I saw how the two of you were conversing earlier today. What happened?”

Rey almost didn’t want to answer, but she knew Finn was going to either figure it out or not drop the issue. “We... we kissed. Before I left for Tatooine... before he left to come home. And I freaked out on him.”

“Did you not want to kiss him?”

“I just wasn’t expecting it,” she answered. “I can’t even begin to explain how incredibly stupid it is. I kissed Ben without thinking and he reacted like it was nothing. He even smiled. He was happy. And then Poe kisses me and... I run away like a child.”

“Perhaps you were harboring some feelings for Kylo Ren that you didn’t want to admit? And when he died, you were afraid to explore that again?”

Rey made a face of disgust. “Absurd. Why would you even suggest that?”

“Which part?” Finn asked.

“That I had deeper feelings for Ben?”

“The fact that you keep calling him Ben is a big indication,” Finn pointed out.

“So it’s better if I call him Kylo?”

Finn shrugged. “Would suggest to me that you didn’t care about him more than you did. You also fought to bring him back to the Light, just like Luke did with Vader. If this dyad thing is true, the two of you had a connection deeper than you could understand. And who knows what those feelings meant?”

So maybe Finn had a point. But Rey didn’t want to admit it.

Continuing, Finn said, “Alternatively, you ran away from Poe because the feelings you had for him were ones you didn’t want to admit, and because you had only kissed Kylo just a few weeks before and you’re still in mourning.”

“Finn you’re seeming to suggest that I was in love with Be— Kylo, when I _already_ told you I wasn’t,” Rey said, getting irritated.

“I’m just trying to help you figure out why you ran away from Poe if he’s the one you actually have feelings for,” he explained. “Because none of it makes sense to me.”

“And you think it makes sense to _me_?!” Rey exclaimed.

“I didn’t say it did,” Finn answered calmly. “Rey, only _you_ can figure out why you did what you did in both instances. All I’m doing is offering you different scenarios as to why it could have possibly been.”

Rey sighed. He was right. She calmed down before responding. “I’m sorry, Finn, I’m just... really going crazy here. I don’t know what to do. And Poe is upset with me... like, _really_ upset. He was so cold and formal with me; said we should only talk to one another in official situations.”

“Kriff,” Finn said. “That means he’s _reeeeeeally_ upset with you.”

There was more to it than Finn knew, of course, but she didn’t want to get into it. It was already upsetting enough, and talking about it only made it worse. “I’d just rather be alone for awhile, if you don’t mind, Finn. I need to clear my head.”

Finn nodded. “Alright. But if you need anything, find me.” He stood up and touched her shoulder lovingly before leaving the cockpit.

Rey looked out the front window of the Falcon, seeing Poe working on his X-wing. He stopped and looked in her direction, the two of them locking eyes for a few moments. Poe’s eyes were full of hurt. Rey’s were full of regret. It was Poe who looked away first and turned his attention to his father who was bringing a drink out to him. The two spoke for some time before Poe looked back at Rey, but she looked away immediately and stood up, leaving the cockpit. She needed to be alone. So she went to Han’s old quarters and shut the door.

Outside, Kes left Poe alone with BB-8, but as soon as the droid saw D-O he rolled off to his friend. Poe stared at the Falcon where Rey had just disappeared from the cockpit window. His father had just asked him if he was okay, to which Poe had responded that he was fine. But Kes wasn’t buying it, and he suggested that Poe go speak to Rey like an adult.

That was something he just wasn’t ready for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment if you liked it, for comments determine how much I keep posting! Also share if you love it so more people can see! I know this fic could be pretty polarizing considering its an in-fandom crossover, and not everyone ships the same things, but I had an idea and I ran with it, okay? It took me two years, but I did the thing! DON'T @ ME! (But seriously, leave me a comment if you liked it.)
> 
> Song lyrics in the intro are from "Don't Wanna Be Alone" by Simon Curtis
> 
> Also, question for my RebelCaptain family: Do we have a Discord server? I know there's one for the Damerey family, which I am on, but I'd love to join one for RC if it exists. Lemme know! (You can DM me here, or send me a message on Twitter @ samrenee2010)


	4. now i'm bound by the life you left behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kinda hard to write, but... enjoy!

_And if you have to leave_

_  
I wish that you would just leave_

_  
'Cause your presence still lingers here_

_  
And it won't leave me alone_

_  
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real_

_  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

****

**35 ABY**

Finn and Rose slept on the couches. Chewbacca slept outside. Rey slept in the Falcon.

Kes had offered her a place in the house, but she insisted on the ship. It was away from Poe, as far as she could get, which was what she suspected he would want. In fact, she hadn’t come out of the ship since they returned from the old rebel base. Rose had brought her supper, and BB-8 had come to try and get her to come inside for the night, but she told him she would rather be out here much to the droids disappointment.

As Rey lay in bed, she thought about the events of the day, as well as the major events of the last few weeks. She thought about Ben and Poe, and how her actions were incredibly lopsided when it came to them. Ben was... a mistake, plain and simple. And it helped that he was gone now for good so she could stop thinking about it. Sure, she could wonder what might have been, but wasn’t that just going to be a waste of her time?

Her focus turned to Poe. That frustratingly beautiful man where her affections truly rested. And she thought about Jyn and Cassian... how they were so in love, like they had no problems whatsoever despite their situation. How was it so easy for them?

Then suddenly: _the room changed._

She gasped and shot up from the bed, only seeing that she was not longer in a bed. She was in a small Imperial ship, different from the one she’d been in before, and she saw Jyn and Cassian there along with three other men.

 _“You lied to me,”_ Jyn said to Cassian. She was upset.

Uh-oh.

 _“You’re in shock,”_ Cassian said, cold.

_“You went up there to kill my father.”_

_“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

_“Deny it.”_

_“You’re in shock and looking for some place to put it. I’ve seen it before.”_

_“I bet you have._ They _know.”_ She indicated the others on the ship. _“You lied about why we came here and you lied about why you went up alone.”_

 _“I had every chance to pull the trigger. But did I?”_ He looked at the others. _“_ Did _I?”_

_“You might as well have. My father was living proof and you put him at risk. Those were Alliance bombs that killed him!”_

_“I had orders! Orders that_ I _disobeyed! But you wouldn’t understand that.”_

 _“Orders? When you know they’re wrong? You might as well be a Stormtrooper.”_ She turned around to walk away…

But Cassian’s tone stopped her. _“What do_ you _know? We don’t all have the luxury of deciding when and where we want to care about something. Suddenly the Rebellion is real for you? Some of us live it. I’ve been in this fight since I was_ six _years old. You’re not the only one who lost everything. ... Some of us just decided to do something about it.”_

_“You can’t talk your way around this.”_

Cassian got as close as he possibly could and said, _“I don’t have to.”_

Rey was shocked. The two of them just went at each other’s throats in front of everybody. They were so in love in the last vision she saw of them, but here... they were angry with one another. It was just like her argument with Poe, except Poe hadn’t tried to kill he father or someone she loved. Different circumstances; same emotions.

Perhaps things weren’t as black and white as she imagined they were. Of course people were going to have problems. But Jyn and Cassian had clearly moved past his incident. Kes had told her about the assassination of her father by the Alliance and how it was before the Battle of Scarif. So despite their problems, Jyn and Cassian were big enough to forgive one another.

Would she and Poe be able to say the same?

A knock on the door in her reality snapped her out of her vision. Rey was suddenly sitting in bed again, and she got up, going to the door of the ship and let the ramp down. Standing at the bottom was Finn. “Rey, come quickly!” he urged.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It’s Kes. He’s...” He couldn’t finish. He didn’t have to.

Rey rushed down the ramp and into the home with Finn, finding Rose and the droids, minus BB-8 at the door of Kes’ quarters. Poe was at his father’s bedside along with BB-8 and Chewbacca. Finn lead Rey through the door, both of them finding Poe in tears.

“She’s here, Kes,” Finn announced.

Kes, holding his son’s hand, looked at Rey. “Master Skywalker... please, come here.” He sounded weak. He was old, but she hadn’t exactly known what was wrong with him, even though Poe had told them his father didn’t have a lot of time left. Rey went to Kes’ side opposite of Poe. She knelt down and took Kes’ hand when he reached for it. “I’m sorry I won’t be of any further assistance to you, Master Skywalker. I feel that I will become one with the Force rather shortly here.”

So he was dying, and he knew it was going to be tonight.

“I’ve asked Poe to join you on your mission,” he continued. “Despite his objections, he’s agreed to it. And I hope the two of you are able to work out whatever problem there is between you for the sake of your friendship.”

Rey locked eyes with Poe. He was devastated. Of course he was; his father was dying. This was the last parent he had left. Also he’s just recently lost Leia, the only mother figure he’d had since he was six years old. He had to be a wreck inside.

Suddenly Rey was feeling very guilty about running away from him after that kiss.

“Trust each other... love each other,” Kes went on. “Don’t take any day or moment for granted. There is so much of life I didn’t get to experience with my Shara. She was taken from me too soon, and I have missed her every day over the last thirty years. I’d give anything to have one more day with her.”

“You’ll be with her again, Papi,” Poe said as he squeezed his father’s hand. “Soon. She’s with the Force.”

“She would be so proud of you, Poe,” Kes told his son. “As I am. You are the son any parent would be proud to have. We know you will do more great things in your life. There’s so much ahead of you, you don’t even know it, Son.”

Poe started crying harder. “I love you... and I love Mama so much, I miss her every day.”

“I know you do, Son. You wear her wedding ring around your neck and never took it off.” Kes let go of Rey’s hand. He slipped his wedding band off of his ring finger and put it in Poe’s hand. “Keep this with it. Use it when you find the right person to spend your life with. Wear it proudly, as I have all of these years.”

“I will,” Poe promised. “You have my word.”

Kes swallowed hard and coughed. This was the first time Rey had actually seen him sick. He seemed fine before, but perhaps he was simply having a good day when they arrived. If this was the end, Rey felt awful for Poe. She knew what it was like to lose parents. Their circumstances were different, but parents were parents.

Poe was about to join the Dead Parents Club, and Rey wanted to kick herself for the way she’d been behaving around him lately.

“Thank you all,” Kes said to the group. “For being such wonderful friends to my son. It’s been an honoring knowing each and every one of you.”

No one said anything, only nodded or gave looks of thanks. 

Poe did everything he could to keep Kes comfortable over the following minutes. It was within the hour, though, that Sergeant Kes Dameron passed away peacefully. Once it was clear he was gone, Poe lost it. He began screaming as he collapsed to his knees and curled up in fetal position

Rey froze, unsure of what to do. It was Finn who rushed over and wrapped his arms around him, bringing him into a hold. “Shh, Poe, it’s okay. He’s with the Force.” Poe gripped onto the back of Finn’s shirt as he continued sobbing. The sound of his pain made Rey sick. All of her guilt was building up and she didn’t know how to be there for him now. None of them had ever seen him like this; Poe was usually the strongest of them all, but everybody had their breaking point. Kes’ death was his.

Finn gave her a look indicating that she needed to come over or risk doing the wrong thing. Rey came around the bed slowly and knelt down, unsure of what to do. She slowly reached for Poe’s shoulder and put her hand there. Finn maneuvered out of Poe’s arms and replaced himself with Rey, whom Poe gripped onto just as hard. Rey held him close and stroked his hair, shushing him, allowing him to let it all out.

-

_TWO DAYS LATER_

“Kes was a fighter. He was firm in his beliefs, and he wanted nothing but a better universe for his son and all the future generations to come. He fought admirably during his time with the Alliance. He was a loving husband to his late wife Shara, a devoted father to his son, Poe... and he was a good friend.” Lando paused, looking down at the funeral pyre. “Kes... you will be missed, my friend. May the Force Be With You.”

Rey looked around at the small group of people who had gathered with them to mourn the loss of Kes Dameron and celebrate his life. A few old Alliance soldiers who were still alive had made the journey, and General Calrissian was leading the memorial. Many of Poe’s friends were present to support him, namely members of the Resistance.

Even Zorii Bliss had come. She was the one Poe was standing with now.

Rey stood off to the side, out of the way, while Lando took the lit torch and passed it to Poe. The last remaining Dameron stood looking at his father’s pyre and waited a moment. “I love you, Dad. Papi. Tell Mama I love her. ... May the Force Be With You.”

She watched him light the pyre and within minutes, Kes’ body was burning. Everyone stood around while the cremation took place, and the only ones left by the time the last flame was out were Poe, Rey, and Lando.

General Calrissian stepped next to Poe. “Your father was a good man, Poe,” Lando told him. “He was so proud to be your father.”

“I’m proud to be his son,” Poe said. “He was my hero... both him and my mother.” Poe loved his parents. He didn’t get to see them a lot when he was small because of the war, but he cherished every moment he got with them, especially his mom. He’d had so little time with Shara that he learned to look more fondly on those memories. And it made him enjoy every moment with Kes all the more as they were happening.

“Your parents are legends, General Dameron,” Lando said. “Carry their legacies proudly with your own. The Bey-Dameron family will go down in the history books as Rebel and Resistance heroes. That’s something to be proud of, knowing you fought your entire lives to make the universe a better place.”

Poe looked at Lando and offered his hand. “Thank you, Lando. I appreciate you being here.”

Lando shook Poe’s hand, patting the top with his other, and said his goodbyes. He left his side and stepped over to Rey. “Master Skywalker,” he greeted.

“General Calrissian,” she said with a nod.

“Jannah and her team have had no luck in Bothawui,” he informed her. “They still have some ground to cover, but if they hit a dead end, they will reach out for further orders.”

“Thank you, General,” Rey said. “Will you be joining them?”

He nodded. “The clean up on Ajan Kloss is finished and relocation efforts are complete, sans Finn, but I heard a rumor he would be joining you on Tatooine.”

Rey confirmed, “That’s correct. He will be my first student in the new Jedi Order. He will be joining me on Tatooine once we’ve finished up our current mission.”

“Then I wish the both of you well,” he offered. “And I will be of whatever assistance I can to help your efforts to locate the Kyber necklace.”

“Thank you, Lando,” she said. The two shook hands before Lando departed on his ship for Bothawui.

Poe was still standing by the funeral pyre that now consisted of Kes’ ashes. Rey wasn’t sure she should approach him, but then she remembered the look on Finn’s face immediately after Kes had passed. She remembered the way Poe held her, clutching to her for dear life as his grief exploded. Maybe he would need her. But whether or not it was hers to make the first move with was to be determined.

Later that evening, Finn finished getting all of the less necessary items on the Falcon for departure in the morning. They were all staying one more night with Poe, and Rey hoped Poe would end up joining them on their mission like he promised his father and not back out.

Rey had been on the Falcon since the funeral ended, so she didn’t know who all was still there and who had left. She went into the house and found Zorri coming out of Poe’s quarters. Rey froze in place wondering what she’d been doing in there. Zorii approached Rey and stopped at her side. “Take care of him, Rey,” she said. “He’s gonna need it.”

She found herself giving Zorii a nod before Poe’s old flame walked out the door behind her.

Rey stepped towards the door of Poe’s room slowly and stopped once she reached it. Poe was standing at the window, leaning against the frame, with his arms crossed. The bed was made which made Rey relieved, though she had no idea why she should care when Poe had made it clear that nothing was going to happen between them.

And by them, she was thinking of her and Poe, not Zorii and Poe. Because by now, Poe could have been rekindling his flame with Zorii if she was willing to reciprocate.

“You can come in, Rey,” Poe said without looking away from the window or moving in any way whatsoever.

“How did you know it was me?” she asked after stepping inside and moving to the window.

“You’re the only one who hasn’t come to check on me since the funeral,” he answered. There was a long pause. “Also I heard what Zorii said to you.”

Fair. Rey leaned against the opposite side of the window’s frame and looked outside for a moment before returning her attention to Poe. “We’re leaving in the morning,” she said.

He nodded. “I’ll be with you. I made a promise to my father and... I would be lying if I said I didn’t care a little bit about this.”

“Thank you,” she said. “We can use all of the help available to us.”

Poe didn’t say anything else. Silence filled the space between them for a few moments before he finally looked at her. “You weren’t wrong,” he said.

She furrowed her brow. “About what?”

“Deserving an explanation... why I kissed you,” he explained. Rey said nothing in response. She simply waited for him to continue. So when he did, he said, “I’m not... great when it comes to expressing these kinds of feelings, especially when they’re as potent as they are and I’ve never felt them before. But... Rey... what I feel for you is something that I can’t even begin to explain. When I first saw you, I didn’t have time to think about who you were. To me, you were just a stranger. I didn’t think anything of you or your role in all of this until I saw you lifting those rocks on Crait. It was then that I knew you were something spectacular. You were... you were the most powerful woman I had ever laid eyes on. You were strong and... and determined and...” He stopped and shook his head, looking back out the window. “I didn’t know what would come next.”

Rey shifted. “And then?”

“And then somewhere along the way, I began to feel more for you. As we got to know one another, despite all the bickering and disagreements... I was falling for you.”

Her heart skipped a beat. She gasped quietly.

Poe sighed. He looked back at her. “So when I heard you’d kissed Kylo Ren, I was... I was jealous. But there wasn’t any room for me to judge, I suppose, because I didn’t know your story with him. I mean, I was surprised considering we were both tortured by him and he tried to kill you a few times, but then Finn told me about the whole dyad thing and I wasn’t even going to begin to try and understand that.” He stopped, looked down at his feet for a moment, then back up. “Still... I feel something deeper for you. And when I kissed you, I was caught up in the moment, desperate to find some kind of gesture to explain why I was having a hard time forming the words. I don’t know why I expected you would stay. I shouldn’t have done it anyway, force myself on you like that, but I did and I’m sorry.”

Rey pushed herself off the window frame and stepped closer to him. “Poe you didn’t force yourself on me.”

“But I did!” he exclaimed. “I just kissed you out of nowhere, Rey! That isn’t okay, and never has been, but I did it anyway because I wasn’t thinking!”

“Poe—”

“Rey, please, don’t try to—”

Rey stopped him by closing the gap between them completely and pressed her lips to his. She grabbed the collar of his shirt, and Poe uncrossed his arms; she could feel the tension in him subsiding. He cupped her face in his hands, deepening the kiss. The two of them held their positions for a few moments before breaking away slowly. They stared into each others eyes, Poe stroking Rey’s cheek with his thumb.

“If you forced yourself on me, then I just forced myself on you,” she said. “And we’re even.”

Poe looked down, but didn’t let go of her. Instead he closed his eyes and took a breath. “I’m sorry, Rey,” he said.

“Stop apologizing. Poe, I ran away because I was scared. Scared of my feelings for you. I didn’t know what they meant or how deep they were, not until you kissed me. I was jealous of Zorii... guilty for kissing Kylo... And we were going to be going our separate ways. It wasn’t like I was supposed to see you again for awhile. Your kiss surprised me, but I wouldn’t have reciprocated if I didn’t want to kiss you too.”

He looked back up into her eyes. “That was what hurt the most... the fact that you seemed to return the kiss, even just for a moment or two, and then ran off. I thought maybe, just maybe, you actually felt the same way.”

“I do, Poe,” Rey assured him. “I’m not good at this either. I’ve never been with anybody... not in any sort of way. So all of this is brand new to me, and I don’t even know where to begin. All I know is I like the way it feels, even the parts that scare me to death.”

“Yeah that part _is_ kinda odd isn’t it?” Poe asked with a slight smirk.

Rey smiled, giggling. “It is.”

He chuckled. “Well... I don’t know what this is, but I want to explore it. Is that something you want?”

She nodded. “I do. One step at a time.”

Poe smiled. “One step at a time.”

-

**0 BBY**

After they had gotten their rest, and their release, Jyn and Cassian went back to the cockpit. The fuel levels were nearly out. Cassian brought them out of Hyperspace and looked at the scanner. Both were surprised by what they found: they were near Corellia in the Core.

“How in the blazes did we get to Corellia?!” Jyn asked.

Cassian checked the autopilot. “Kriff! It glitched somewhere along the way. The entire thing is busted. It took us off course. We need to land.”

“But Corellia is Imperial territory!” Jyn reminded him.

“We don’t have much of a choice, Jyn,” Cassian said as he began the descent. “If we’re lucky we can find fuel, or possibly a non-Imperial ship, and get out of here before the Empire can find us.”

Jyn swallowed hard. She hoped Cassian was right. Corellia wasn’t ideal. She wished if they had gone off course they had at least landed in Hutt territory where neither the Empire nor the Alliance had a presence. Hell, they should have just flown off Scrif directly to Tatooine. It was the wrong direction, but they could have at least bargained for a new ship and gotten to Yavin 4 without worry.

For now, Corellia was their only option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment if you liked it, for comments determine how much I keep posting! Also share if you love it so more people can see!
> 
> Song lyrics in the intro are from "My Immortal" by Evanescence


	5. when your love has cut you down to size

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't really proof read. You should come to expect that from now on.

_It's a hard life_

_  
To be true lovers together_

_  
To love and live forever in each others hearts_

_  
It's a long hard fight_

_  
To learn to care for each other_

_  
To trust in one another right from the start_

_  
When you're in love_

**35 ABY**

“Now I’m beginning to understand why you like Tatooine so much,” Finn said as they stepped off the Falcon. “It’s exactly like Jakku.”

They landed in Mos Eisley spacesport after leaving Yavin 4 and making the journey to Tatooine, the hot sun beating down on them as they descended the ramp. Even this early in the day it was insanely hot, but Finn was right: it reminded her a lot of Jakku. It felt like home.

Everyone split into groups to begin their search. Finn took Chewie and Artoo; Rose took Threepio; Poe took BB-8; Rey took D-O, and they went around the port asking anyone recognized the holo-images of Jyn and Cassian. It was a long shot, but it was all they had to go on.

With no luck in Mos Eisley, they moved on to Mos Espa. No luck there either, and by the time they finished it was the end of the day. Rey took them in the Falcon back to the Lars Homestead for the night so they could rest before they ventured out to Geonosis where they figured they’d have even worse luck than they did here.

During dinner Threepio told them the story of when he and Artoo had first come to the homestead, sold to Master Luke’s uncle Owen. Artoo had been carrying a message from Master Leia for Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, or Ben as he was called by Luke, along with the Death Star plans that had been stolen. They had only been here a couple of days, but it was quite the story, especially knowing how all of it began for Master Luke. He’d just been a simple farm boy before he was a Jedi. Rey had been a lonely scavenger.

They all settled into a space for the night after dinner, Rey showed Finn to his new quarters where he would be staying once they were able to get to his training. He offered for Rose to share the bed with him. Chewie and the droids went to the workshop and set up for the night. Poe was going to go with them, but Rey stopped him.

“Poe... you can share my bed,” she offered. “It’s big enough and... I’d hate to think of you being alone right now.” 

Poe was surprised. Rey offering to share a bed with him shouldn’t have been awkward, but considering what they were to one another, or exploring becoming, it seemed rather early for a step like this. Still... she was offering, and him refusing could appear rude. “Thank you,” he accepted.

Rey brought him into the room and closed the door. The two of them looked at one another and simply stood there for a few moments. Neither knew what to do.

“We should um...” Rey began, “probably turn around and change.”

“Right,” Poe agreed. “Yeah... turn around.”

They both turned around slowly and faced away from one another. They stripped out of their dirty day clothes and put on fresh clean night clothes. Rey had a flowing cream gown that had been gifted to her by Leia; Poe had a loose white shirt and brown pants; both wearing items not all that dissimilar to their regular clothing. Rey also let her hair down, something not many people ever saw. Almost nobody, in fact.

“Are, um—” Poe cleared his throat. “Are you good?”

“Yeah, you?” Rey asked.

“Yep.”

The two turned around, and Rey froze when she saw how Poe was looking at her. “What is it?” she asked.

He was mesmerized. He almost couldn’t answer the question. “Your hair,” he finally managed to say. “It’s... I mean, you’re so... beautiful.”

Rey instinctively reached up to touch her hair. It was a pretty decent length, not too long or too short, but she realized Poe had never seen her not wearing her buns. This had to be some culture shock for him (in a good way).

Poe came around the other side of the bed to her and lifted a hand, indicating he wanted to touch her hair. Rey nodded, and Poe gently stroked her hair from root to tip with his hand curled into a soft fist. She was so beautiful, it was almost scary because he didn’t want to find out this was a dream he would soon wake up from.

Rey buried her face into Poe’s chest, the scent of him driving her wild. His cologne lingered still, and she never wanted this scent to leave her. Poe smelled Rey’s hair, the aroma better than he could possibly imagine. Both were so entranced with one another that they remained standing for several minutes mindlessly before moving to the bed.

Rey slid in first under the covers, Poe behind her, and once they were laying down, Poe wrapped his arms around Rey while she lay with her back to his chest. Here and now, both of them were more relaxed than they had been in the last year. It had been a long journey for both of them, and though it wasn’t over yet, the danger wasn’t as prominent.

-

**0 BBY**

“This way, Jyn,” Cassian said once he made sure the coast was clear. It was nighttime on Corellia and the only people out were security guards and Stormtroopers, so it was harder to blend in with a crowd given that there wasn’t one to begin with. Unfortunately they didn’t have much of a choice when it came to landing. It was Corellia, or crash somewhere completely unknown, or at least unpopulated.

Jyn followed Cassian down the alley where they found the entrance to an old transportation depot. They had left their escape ship on the outskirts of the city and snuck in the way only Jyn knew how. The inside of the building was pretty empty except for a few abandoned vehicles. None of them, unfortunately, were spacecrafts.

“Kriff,” Jyn said. “I don’t want to siphon fuel again. We need a ship, Cass.”

“I know!” Cassian said, frustrated. “Jyn, I know, we need a ship.” This was a stressful situation, but surely they’d both been in worse, right? Cassian didn’t mean to snap at Jyn, but stating the obvious wasn’t exactly helping him. “Our problem is we need to get into a place with a working spacecraft and we need to be able to get out of the city quickly. A public place is not going to be easy.”

She sighed. “So what do you suggest?”

“We have aliases. We can stay in the city and go about this another way in the morning,” he said. “We can either barter for a ship, get one at a discounted price, or find a mass transport to another planet.”

“Coruscant will be expensive. So will Alderaan.” Those were two of the nearest planets with a better chance of getting to Yavin 4.

“Those are our only options right now,” he said. “Unless you want to break into a private parking deck and steal a ship.”

Jyn crossed her arms. “Better than staying in Imperial territory another second longer. And don’t tell me you’ve never done anything as immoral as that. You’re Fulcrum. I can imagine you doing some pretty messed up things to get results.”

Cassian sighed. “Fair. Fine, we’ll steal a ship.”

She furrowed her brow. “Why don’t you seem terribly enthused about this?”

“Because I have you to think about now, Jyn!” he exclaimed. “It’s the two of us against everything until we get back to Yavin 4, and even after that... I don’t want to do anything to put you in danger. I know you can take care of yourself, I love that about you, but it doesn’t mean I won’t still be worried.”

Jyn never considered that. Of course she felt the same way about Cassian, but she was pretty bad about considering safety in all of this. And this wasn’t just her fight anymore. It was Cassian’s, as well as the rest of the Rebel Alliance’s. Perhaps she needed to do a better job when it came to thinking about others. She had a pretty good start in that area when she went after the Death Star plans.

Then again, her mission there had been personal too.

“I’m sorry, Cassian,” she said quietly. “I assumed you would want to get out of here just as quickly as I did, but... I never considered anything other than that.”

Cassian came to her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. “It’s alright. I’m sorry, too. I know you want to get back to normal... whatever that is for you.”

She shook her head with her face buried in his chest. “I don’t even know what normal is anymore, Cass,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve had a normal existence since the day my mother was killed and my father was forced to go with Krennic.”

He rubbed her back and said, “I know. I haven’t had a normal existence since I was six. I’ve spent the last twenty years of my life fighting for the Rebels. Sometimes it feels like this is all I’ve ever know.”

Jyn looked up at him. “We’re both a little broken, aren’t we?”

A small smile crossed his lips. “Just a bit.”

-

**35 ABY**

After a night on Tatooine, the group were preparing to take off from the Lars Homestead to venture to Geonosis when they got a transmission from Jannah. The humans and Chewie were all gathered in the cockpit when it came in. “Go ahead, Jannah,” Rey answered.

“We’ve run out of places to check on our end, Rey,” Jannah said, the holo-image of her from the waist up going a little fuzzy. “General Calrissian suggests we expand our search, and we’re prepared to break up the team to cover more ground.”

Poe asked, “What does Lando suggest?”

“He thinks Geonosis will be a waste of time considering its inhabitants,” Jannah answered. “He suggests you guys visit Scarif while we head into the Core.”

“But the Alliance already scouted Scarif days after the Battle. It’s been almost forty years, there’s not going to be much left there to tip us off.”

For Rey, though, that was an interesting idea. “Poe,” she said, getting his attention. “My visions. They might only be triggered in places where Jyn and Cassian were.”

“Then how do you explain your vision on the Falcon?” Finn asked.

“Technically she was still on Yavin 4 when she had it,” Rose offered. “They may not necessarily have had to be in that location, but the general area.”

Jannah nodded. “Exactly. You’re having no luck on Tatooine because they were never there. At least go to a place where you know they’ve been.” The last place they were seen alive; the place where everyone believed they had died.

“And where will you go in the meantime?” Rey asked.

“Lando thinks we should start in Corellia, and Connix is going to scout with her team to the smaller worlds. I’m going to lead a team to Coruscant while Lando searches Corellia. That could take awhile.”

Rey replied, “Keep in contact, and let us know the minute you find anything useful.”

“Understood, Master Skywalker. May the Force Be With You.”

“And you,” she wished before the transmission ended. Looking at Chewie, she said, “Well... reset course for Scarif.”

-

**0 BBY**

“Aldearaan was _what_?” Cassian asked the transportation worker.

“Destroyed. By the Empire,” the worker replied.

Cassian and Jyn exchanged a look with one another. Kriff, the Empire had used the Death Star to the fullest of its abilities. That was the exact thing they were trying to prevent.

“Is there any possible transport that will take us directly to Yavin 4?” Jyn asked as they both looked at the worker again.

“Yavin 4? Why would you want to go there? The Empire is headed there next. Why not go to Coruscant?”

Cassian threw what credits they had on them, most of them found in ships or on dead bodies back on Scarif, and threw them down on the counter in front of the window separating them from the worker. “Fine. Two tickets for passage to Coruscant.”

“Identification?” the worker demanded. Both Cassian and Jyn pulled out cards with their aliases on them. “Kestrel Dawn and... Joreth Sward.” They waited anxiously as the worker put in the information, which took a few minutes, but finally they were given their fake ID badges back along with two tickets. “Thank you, Mr. Sward, Ms. Dawn, and have a pleasant trip.”

They took their things and thanked the worker before walking off to the shuttle that would take them to the ship headed for Coruscant. Getting onboard, they took their seats and waited for it to depart. Cassian took Jyn’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “It’s going to be alright,” he promised. They were both shaken up about the news from Alderaan, but if they could get back to the Rebel base, they could do their part in stopping any further genocide.

When the shuttle arrived at the cruiser, Jyn and Cassian got on board. It looked more like a refugee ship, more open and less controlled, but it would do. They found a spot in the back corner and claimed it. “Do you think it’s safe to contact the Alliance?” Jyn asked Cassian.

He shook his head. “No. The Empire is getting stronger, and if they’re head to Yavin 4 we need to get to Coruscant first and find a ship that can take us there.”

“If it’s not already destroyed,” she said.

“Yeah, that.”

Hopefully they could get there in time.

-

**35 ABY**

Rey wandered around Scarif unsure of what she should be looking for. The others had gone into the abandoned, run down Imperial base that had been destroyed during the battle, but Rey was wandering out to the old coast. This planet had once been a tropical paradise according to records. The beauty spoken of this planet was now gone and had been for almost forty years. It was like no one had been here, not even the Empire, to clean up anything aside from the dead.

What used to be the coastline was still visible. Rey stopped at it and stared at the sun for a moment. She wondered what this planet used to look like during its prime; when Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor had been here. Hopefully that she was now in a place they had been again, she would see them or have some kind of vision to connect with them.

Poe came out of the building and watched Rey from a distance. BB-8 rolled up next to him, the others till exploring inside, and beeped something to him.

“I know, Buddy,” Poe replied. “But she’ll find it. She’s resourceful.”

Beebee beeped in agreement.

Rey sat down on the sand and crossed her legs. She needed to clear her mind and focus, hoping the Force would allow her to see something helpful. Anything at all that could point them in the right direction. She closed her eyes and began centering herself; getting attuned with her surroundings. 

Within minutes Rey began floating just above the sand, the Force connecting with her deep inside. She felt like she was floating so high above the ground, as if she were flying, but when she opened her eyes she saw she was just a few inches off the ground. She also wasn’t in the present day any longer. She was in 0 BBY... and in front of her were Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor.

They collapsed on the beach at the shore just inches from her, and the Death Star sent a blast down to the surface. She watched Cassian say, “Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn.”

The two then embraced as the blast from the Death Star traveled closer to them. Rey’s heart began racing; they were supposed to die here. Was the Force showing her how they survived?

The blast consumed them, but Rey heard this odd ringing in her ears. It was muffled, but she could still hear it. The sandstorm around her didn’t make it easy to see, but she could make out this soft glow that was in front of her that looked like a bubble. Focusing further, trying to will the sand to part around her, she got a glimpse of what was happening. There was a glowing force field around Jyn and Cassian, protecting them as the blast passed around them. Rey had never seen anything like it.

And then, it all passed.

Cassian and Jyn collapsed in the sand, unconscious, and the residual wind pushed the sand around them, burying them under the sand, but not entirely. Rey saw a glowing coming from Jyn’s chest, and watched it fade away.

It had come from the necklace.

-

**0 BBY**

So many guards were whispering about what had happened on Alderaan. Jyn and Cassian sat in the corner minding their own business, only taking some food offered to them by a servant droid, for which they gave a small amount of credits, all they had leftover from the boarding passes. They were going to have to resort to bribery or thievery in order to survive from here on out... not like they hadn’t already jacked an Imperial cruiser from Scarif and broken into a few buildings on Corellia.

Jyn sat against Cassian’s chest with his arms wrapped around her, the two of them sharing some of the bread they’d bought. The ship was rather full, en route to Coruscant, and the general atmosphere was that of fear. Everyone knew about Alderaan, most people getting the news from whispering guards who were almost deliberately trying to frighten people. Senator Organa was dead, his last known whereabouts after Yavin 4 being his home planet. Presumably Queen Breha was dead too. What about Princess Leia? Was she on Alderaan? No one seemed to know. Some whispers suggested she was aboard the Death Star when the incident happened. Others were sure she was on her home planet.

“I hope there’s a bright light in all of this,” Cassian told Jyn quietly. “We couldn’t have lost all of those people for nothing. Kaytoo... Bodhi... Chirrut and Baze... Their deaths won’t be in vain. I swear, they won’t.”

Jyn turned her head to lay it against his shoulder. “I know. Saw... my father... all of those innocent people who were slaughtered. The Empire has to be stopped.”

“Let’s just hope we can make it to Yavin 4 in time to help.”

An announcement came over the intercom. They would be landing on Coruscant in three hours. Hopefully they still had some time before then. In the meantime, they were going to have to wait as patiently as possible.

That was a tall order for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment if you liked it, for comments determine how much I keep posting! Also share if you love it so more people can see!
> 
> Song lyrics in the intro are from "It's a Hard Life" by Queen (RIP Freddie)


	6. the light runs through me in the aftershow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not proof read. You should know this by now. Enjoy!

_I was but a castaway, infidecimal_

_  
Particle, floated far away_

_  
I forgot how to feel, I feel, I feel_

_  
May the force be with me to live another day_

**0 BBY**

As soon as they were able to get off the ship on Coruscant, Cassian and Jyn scrambled to find transportation to Yavin 4. But a roadblock appeared when they were told by an Imperial worker that all travel to Yavin 4 has been prohibited for the time being. No doubt the Empire was headed there to destroy them.

“We’re doomed,” Jyn told Cassian. “We have no credits, we can’t buy a ship, and there’s nothing traveling to Yavin 4.”

“Alright, so you might’ve had a point when you said we should steal another ship on Corellia,” Cassian admitted, now very worried and paranoid. He was looking around, hoping no one would recognize them, especially not Imperial guards.

Jyn shook her head. “It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done. And maybe we were right to stay away. There has to be another way we can help.”

“How?” Cassian asked.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’m just... thinking out loud.”

Cassian said, “Well keep going, especially if you think of something good.”

They two of them wandered around Coruscant for a few hours. Somehow they wound up at the old Jedi Temple which was... well, mostly destroyed. Not a lot of it was left standing. It had been 19 years since Order 66. Jedi didn’t exist anymore, but there were still believers in the Force and those who were Force sensitive. Jyn was the former, not the latter. Her mother had instilled that belief and trust in her.

Perhaps it was why they had survived Scarif.

As they wandered throughout the Temple, Jyn heard a soft humming everywhere she went. It didn't get louder, nor did it get more quiet as she moved from one direction to another. It seemed to be at the same volume no matter where she was. From behind her, Cassian had stopped. "Uh... Jyn. You're... _glowing_."

She turned and looked at him, confused, thinking it was a cheesy pickup line despite his tone. But when he gestured with his head to her chest, she looked down at her necklace. He was right. It was glowing, and that must have been where the humming was coming from. Jyn reached up and touched it, but when she did it burned. "Ah!" she exclaimed. It was hot. She couldn't feel it over her shirt, but against her skin it was too hot to touch. Both of them were confused as to what was happening with the necklace. And then they looked around to find a shimmering bubble surrounding them. 

"Oh my—" Jyn began. "What is happening?"

Cassian shook his head. "I don't know. It's like we're being protected by a ..."

"A Force field," Jyn finished.

-

**35 ABY**

She was disappearing.

"Rey? Rey?!" Poe exclaimed as he started moving towards her. He couldn't see her the closer he got and started picking up the pace. "Rey!" The others heard Poe from inside and rushed out to see him running towards the shore which was empty except for the sand. Rey was gone. They all ran over to Poe who was in a panic. "She... she just _vanished_! Little by little she vanished!"

Artoo used his scanner in the area to see if they could detect any trace of her as Poe kept rambling on about how she was gone. He was coming up empty. Meanwhile they were getting an incoming message back on the Falcon, so Rose rushed off to answer it while Finn tried to calm a frantic Poe. "Hey, hey!" Finn said, grabbing his friends' shoulders and forcing him to look at him in the eyes. "Listen to me. She's gonna be okay. I might not know a lot about the Force, nor have I had _any_ Jedi training yet, but I know enough to know that it does some pretty bizarre things."

Poe took a breath to calm down, but it didn't work very well. If anything it made anxiety spike up higher inside of him so he wasn't sure what to do. Despite Finn telling him everything was going to be okay, he didn't know if he could believe it. He'd just watched Rey _disappear_ right in front of him. "You sure?" he asked Finn who responded with a nod. "I hope you're right." Beebee beeped with sadness.

\---

"Rey," the voice said.

It was a familiar voice. Rey wasn't sure where it was coming from. But as the field around Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso expanded, it got darker inside. Soon it was consuming her and she could hear someone calling her name. It wasn't loud. It was a quiet voice, but very deep. She _knew_ this voice... she knew it all too well. But where was he coming from?

"Ben?" she asked as the darkness consumed her.

She turned around, her feet finding the ground after floating for some time. The call of _Rey_ kept coming, echoing in what she could only describe as a void. It was nothing. Nothing but black. But it wasn't frightening. It was peaceful... And somehow the darkness began to fade away just as it came to and she was standing in nothing but white. Turning around again after hearing her name clear as day, she came face to face with the man who had died just seven weeks before. "Ben," she said.

He looked the same way he had when he died. Same clothing, same scars... only difference was the pleasant expression, which she'd seen on him before albeit briefly.

"Where am I?"

"The Force," he answered.

"But... am I... _dead_?"

Ben shook his head. "You are far from dead, Rey. You're here for another purpose."

"Which is?" she asked.

He held out his hand. "Come with me," he said. Rey was apprehensive about taking it, but after some hesitation she did if only to satisfy her curiosity above anything else. Ben led her to another spot in the white space in which they were somehow interacting. He stopped and centered her, then letting go of her hand. "Stay there. Don't move."

She obeyed as he came behind her and pointed straight ahead. "Look there. Focus."

"Why?" she asked.

"It'll show you what you need to know," he answered. "You're looking for the necklace, right?"

She turned her head and asked, "How do you know that?"

Suddenly the expression on Ben Solo's face exuded a sass she had never seen before. And it made her understand how he knew that... he was with the Force now. He knew what the Force knew.

"Right," she said, shaking her head slightly and looking back to where he'd indicated.

Ben crossed his arms behind her. "The Force can tell you anything if you let it. It won't feed you the answers, but give you the pieces of the puzzle you need in order to solve it yourself."

"And... no offense, but why did the Force send _you_ to help me?" Why not Master Luke or Master Leia? Why Ben? Not like she didn't want to see him again. They had some things they probably needed to talk about now that they were together again, but this was hardly the time or place... and she didn't even know how to begin.

Ben shrugged. "You tell me. Why _am_ I here? Why did the Force send me?"

Rey furrowed her brow. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Nope," he replied. "Only you could tell me why I'm here over everyone else. Luke, my mother, all the other Jedi in existence... what's your connection to me?"

"The dyad," she answered.

"The dyad has nothing to do with it anymore," he stated. "Something else."

Rey sighed. "Then... it must have been... you know." She didn't even want to say it out loud. It was awkward to her at this point, especially considering that she and Poe were trying to find their footing.

Thankfully Ben didn't force her to say it. "And why was that?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "It was... It just happened. I don't know how to explain why it happened, why I did it, and what it meant, if anything, because frankly I don't think it did. Whatever was drawing me to you has to be because of the dyad, but you're dead now and I'm still alive."

"You know you're alive _because_ of me," he stated. "You transferred life to me when you ran the lightsaber through me; I transferred it back when you died."

"So you're saying I owe you?" she asked, disgusted by the notion.

He shook his head. "No, I'd say we're pretty even," he replied. "You scratched my back, I scratched yours, so-to-speak."

Rey rolled her eyes. "So what else is there to say about it?"

"You tell me," he said.

"Stop saying that!" she exclaimed. "It didn't mean anything! I don't know why in the blazes I kissed you! I shouldn't have done it, it was incredibly stupid and I wish it never happened!" Behind her, Ben was laughing. "Why are you laughing?" she asked. "Ben, why are you laughing?" she asked when he didn't stop or respond.

He was fading away. She looked back and saw him disappearing, and when she returned her gaze to the spot where she was told to focus she saw a blue light. It wasn't growing. It stayed in one particular spot, not moving or changing hue. It kept her attention though, and she lifted her foot to take a step forward, moving closer to it little by little. 

\---

"Jannah said Lando found records of a Joreth Sward and Kestrel Dawn traveling from Corellia to Coruscant the day of the Battle of Yavin," Rose explained after she had returned to the group. "They were old Imperial records, but they check out."

"Wait, Jareth Sword and Kestrel Dawn?" Finn asked.

Poe answered, "Aliases. Joreth Sward was a favorite of Cassian's, and Jyn had several as well. I'm surprised she didn't use Liana Hallik."

"Well," Rose began, "according to Imperial records that Connix has been looking in to, Liana Hallik was arrested just days before the battle and she escaped. It's no surprise she would have used a different alias to travel with. There was also an abandoned Imperial cruiser found on the outskirts of the city they departed out of days later. It was registered to someone within the Empire whose last documented flight was to Scarif the day of Rogue One's mission."

That seemed to confirm it for them, but there was still some doubt. Of course Poe doubted that anyone else would have used Jyn and Cassian's aliases to travel, but it was better to be safe than sorry. It wasn't solid, and they needed solid. "Is there old security footage from that time that can confirm it was really them?" Poe asked. "I know it was almost forty years ago, but if they found the travel records, I don't want to discount anything else."

"Most video technology from that time was encrypted by the First Order," Rose said. "They want me to meet up with them and work on getting in to it. In the meantime, Jannah has already gone to Coruscant and they're waiting on word from us to see what we could find, if anything."

"We only have one way off this planet," Finn said.

"And I'm _not_ leaving Rey," Poe followed. "She's still here somewhere, and I'm staying here until she comes back. They need to find a way to come to us, or wait, but I will _not_ leave Rey.”

Rose looked to Finn who shook his head at her. “He’s right,” he told her. “Ask Jannah if they can send another ship to us. We don’t know where Rey is or how long she’ll be gone.” All she did was nod in response and return to the Falcon. Finn put a hand on Poe’s shoulder. “She’ll be fine. She knows what she’s doing.”

Poe shook his head. “That’s not what I’m worried about.”

-

**0 BBY**

No matter where they moved, the Force field went with them. Jyn and Cassian couldn’t escape the barrier surrounding them… at least until they left the Jedi Temple. But as soon as they stepped foot back in, the barrier returned. “What _is_ this?” Jyn asked. “It’s coming from the necklace but… I don’t know how or why.”

Cassian shook his head. “I don’t know. But it protected us from the blast. I remember feeling that warmth right before it reached us. Now it’s back.”

“But why? What do we need protecting from in here?” She looked around. The place was an empty shell of nothing. It was cold, dark, and uninviting. Despite all of those things, there was no reason for it to react this way.

“I don’t know, Jyn, but… what I _do_ know is that necklace is powerful.”

Jyn looked down at it around her neck. It was just a simple necklace that her mother had given her right before Krennic had her killed. Had it always been something more? In the last fifteen years, she couldn’t recall a time the necklace had reacted this way.

So why was it doing what it was doing _now_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment if you liked it, for comments determine how much I keep posting! Also share if you love it so more people can see!
> 
> Song lyrics in the intro are from "Cosmonaut" by Wrathschild (which is on my Damerey playlist, and if you've never heard of them, check them out because they are amazing!)


	7. we're in the homestretch of the hard times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter wasn't really proof read.
> 
> Also this will be the last chapter for a while as I am going out of town for a weekend and I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write. Hope this one will hold you over.
> 
> There is no Poe in this chapter. This is a heavy RebelCaptain chapter with Rey sprinkled in. You've been warned.

_When the bones are good the rest don't matter_

_Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter_

_Let it rain, 'cause you and I remain the same_

**35 ABY**

The Force pulled her back to the spot where Ben had told her to stand. She had only made a few steps towards the blue light before being forced back, feeling trapped in place as the blue light began to expand. It started spreading to the right and left in a thin line and wrapped around in a diamond shape around her. Rey still couldn't reach it. It was too far away and she was frozen in place. "Ben?" she asked. Was he still there? He'd faded away, but that didn't mean he couldn't still hear her... right?

Nothing.

_"It's hot to the touch."_

Rey perked up. "Jyn?"

_"That still doesn't explain why it's warm or why it's glowing."_

"Cassian?"

She could hear them. They were talking clear as day like in her previous visions of them. But this time she couldn't see them. She could only hear them talking about something warm.

_"I should be able to feel it over my shirt, but I can't,"_ Jyn said. _"It's warm, but not hot."_

_"What was it that Chirrut said to you on Jedha... about hearts and kyber?"_

_""The strongest stars have hearts of kyber.""_

The strongest stars have hearts of kyber.

-

**0 ABY**

It was nearly midnight. They'd left the Jedi Temple hours ago. Jyn and Cassian had gotten a motel room in the slums of Coruscant. News had reached the capitol that the Death Star had been defeated by the Rebel Alliance over Yavin 4 thanks to the stolen plans. Grand Moff Tarkin was dead. Darth Vader was still at large. Princess Leia Organa was safe thanks to a young farm boy and a smuggler who had rescued her shortly before the battle. Cassian still had no way of knowing how to contact them without drawing attention to himself, Jyn, or the Rebels as a whole. But it seemed like they hadn't needed them in the fight. They had managed just fine.

Jyn could tell this wasn't sitting well with Cassian.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked as she sat down beside him on the edge of the bed. "I know it's bugging you that you weren't there."

Cassian sighed. He took a moment to form the words he wanted to say before saying them. "I know they wouldn't have had that victory if it weren't for us," he said. "We stole those plans. We transmitted them to the Alliance. They got them, used them, and now the Death Star is gone. But... it still feels like it wasn't enough. Like _I_ didn't do enough. I should have been there. I've given my entire life to the Alliance, and I wasn't there to do my part in their biggest victory."

Jyn put a hand on his shoulder. "Did you ever consider that _your_ part was stealing the plans? If the rumors were true, the entire battle took place in the air. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you're a better ground soldier than in an X-wing." Not that he couldn't fly one if he needed to, but he was in Rebel Intelligence; a spy. Surely his part had been on the ground in Scarif. If they'd been on Yavin 4, they would have been planet-side, not with the air troops.

He shook his head. "It's not even about all of that. It doesn't feel like enough. The Alliance is my life. I've given everything to defeat the Empire and I wasn't there for them."

"You _were_ ," she said. "Cass... you did you part. I'm sure they understand that. Force, they probably think we're _dead_. They wouldn't expect you to do anything other than you did."

Cassian inhaled deeply. "I just...." he said slowly after he let the breath out. "I don't like sitting on the sidelines."

She was pretty sure she understood now. "You don't have an identity without the Alliance," she concluded. "It's all you've ever known;... all you can remember." He nodded. "Sometimes I feel the same way. Being a rogue spy was... it was all I knew up until you found me. And part of me still doesn't feel like I belong in your world, but it's the closest I've had to a family since I lost my own." Certainly ever since her mother was killed, but even with her father being alive up until a few days ago, she still didn't feel like she had a family. Like she'd told Mothma and the others that first day, she liked to think her father was dead because it made things easier than imagining he was alive and working for the enemy. Saw and his gang were perhaps the closest thing she had to a "family" but it wasn't exactly a "family."

"The Alliance was the family I chose," Cassian said. "And I know there wasn't anything feasible I could have done if I'd been on Yavin 4, but I felt like I wasn't there for them and I let them down. Even if I already did my part, I'm used to being able to do more."

Jyn squeezed his shoulder. "We'll get to them."

"Yeah, but how? And no doubt with the Empire knowing they're on Yavin 4, they're going to move. Surely they won't go back to Dantooine, and I have no idea where they could possibly be going next."

"Were there no safeguards?" Jyn asked.

Cassian shrugged. "If there were, I wasn't in those meetings. They weren't exactly decisions I had any input in. And certainly they were on a need-to-know basis."

"So what do we do now?"

He shook his head and licked his lips. "I don't know. We have no credits to get a ship, no way to contact the Alliance... we're stuck here. Unless another solution presents itself, we have nowhere to go and nothing to do but wait."

Jyn wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "I'm sorry, Cass..."

Cassian returned the hug, though not as tightly as hers, and said, "We might have been better off staying on Scarif."

She let go of him abruptly and pulled back. "Why would you say that?" What had gotten into him? Jyn never would have expected that to come out of Cassian's mouth. There was no way he really believed that they were better off on Scarif where there was no food, water, or proper means of survival.

"Because then someone might have found us. Someone would have come to inspect the damage of the Battle, Alliance or Empire, and we could have gotten help."

Jyn shook her head and grabbed his shoulders. "Cass, you don't know that. And you don't know a solution to our current problem won't come. It's not ideal at the moment, but we'll get through this, and one way or another we'll find the Alliance."

"I hope you're right," he said after thinking it over, but still not completely convinced. Mostly Cassian was just tired and didn't want to talk about it anymore because he didn't see things the same way she did. "We should clean up... get some rest. We don't know what will come tomorrow, and either way we need to prepare for it."

-

**35 ABY**

The light started to shrink around her. It was closing in, and somehow Rey was feeling claustrophobic. Even in an attempt to relax, she was finding it difficult because the feeling of being trapped in a compact area got stronger with each second. But as the area felt like it was getting smaller, she could hear more voices. It was hard to make them out at first. She had to center herself further and focus not on the discomfort, but the voices that were blurred together and see if she couldn't make them out. Who were they? What were they saying? They seemed familiar, but she couldn't put her finger on who they were.

As the light got as close as it could and stopped shrinking, Rey had a small window where she could see a small domicile. It was very homely, something she didn't know much about but was learning, and she could feel that it was a place where a family existed. The voices suddenly stopped, but she then heard a giggle. It sounded like a small child. Within seconds she could see the child running into the room, a bedroom, and jumping onto the bed. It was a little girl. She was tan skinned with curly brown hair and green eyes. She couldn't have been any older than 4 or 6. Rey felt her heartstrings being plucked. She was adorable. And it also reminded her of when she was that age and how scared she was; how her parents had abandoned her on Jakku.

This little girl was happy. She was holding a doll of a droid. It looked like an Imperial droid, an older model that Rey had seen in her studies of the history of the Empire and the Rebel Alliance. It was a black droid, a KX series model, and it looked like it was worn out quite a bit. The girl started jumping up and down on the bed while continuing to giggle.

_"Bodhi, you know better than that, you'll get hurt,"_ a female voice said, scolding her gently. _"Come down now."_

Rey couldn't see who the voice was coming from, but it was extremely familiar. It sounded a little more mature than she'd been hearing in the past, but it was definitely someone she knew, or was at least familiar with.

Then suddenly, Rey was knocked back. Her view changed and she stumbled into the back of the light which caught her and kept her propped up some. But then she stumbled to the side and was caught by the light again. It was like she was _moving_ somehow, the view of the room changing, getting higher to where she couldn't see the little girl anymore once she jumped down from the bed despite some protests and an insistence from the adult female voice to do so.

_"Where are my girls?"_ a familiar male voice, though more mature, asked.

_"Papi!"_ the little girl exclaimed.

Rey was spun around and could see the chest of whom she presumed was the man who spoke. The little girl had jumped up into his arms and was hugging his neck. _"She missed her Papi today,"_ the adult female said.

_"Did you bring me a present, Papi?"_ the girl asked.

_"A present? Why oh why would I bring you a present?"_ the male asked. It was a playful tone.

The girl giggled. _"Because it's my_ birthday _, Papi!"_

_"Ohhh! Right, it's your birthday! Well there_ might _be a present for you. Should we go looking for it?"_

_"Yes yes yes! Come on, let's go!"_ She squirmed out of her father's arms and dropped down to the floor, running out of the room.

It was bugging Rey that she couldn't see the faces of the people in the room. Only the face of the little girl had been revealed. Those voices sounded so familiar to her, she knew she'd heard them before, and recently, but she couldn't figure out why they were different. They sounded more mature... older. She thought back to what Ben had told her: she was looking for the necklace, so all would be revealed here. Then why wasn't all being revealed to her? It was like the faces were intentionally being hidden from her and it was a guessing game to figure out who the voices belonged to.

Then a second female voice whispered in her ear, _"Trust the Force."_

This voice was not at all familiar to her.

_"You lied to me,"_ the first female voice said. But that was Jyn. Rey knew that from when they had been arguing! She'd witnessed that moment when she was on Yavin 4.

_"Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn."_

Cassian! That one was Cassian!

_"Trust the Force."_

That was neither Jyn, nor Cassian, nor anybody else Rey was familiar with. But Jyn and Cassian's voices... were they the two adults she was seeing now? They had to be. They just _had_ to. Why else would she be seeing them?

-

**1 ABY**

A year had passed. Jyn and Cassian had spent their days on Coruscant in the underworld working on finding a way to the Alliance. As predicted they had left Yavin 4, but to where, Cassian had no idea. No one did, not even the Empire. And that made it harder to come into contact with anyone, especially if they didn't want to draw attention to themselves or the Alliance. Shortly after arriving on Coruscant they had decided that the goal was still to go to Yavin 4 and potentially see if there were any clues left behind to tell them where they'd gone, something that only members of the Alliance would know. It was a long shot, and they'd been working for nearly a year to save up the credits to buy their own ship, but ships were expensive, and so was rent for the apartment they had been living in.

Jyn had taken up work as a bouncer at one of the clubs in the underworld while Cassian spent his nights behind the bar. They were still operating under their aliases and pretending to be a couple, but they had never actually explored what they truly were to each other. They regularly had sex between their days arguing about credits, what they were going to do to get back to the Alliance, and confirming how much they cared about one another as the reason why they hadn't gone to do their own thing, nor would they. It was together or nothing at all.

One morning after they'd spent hours on the job, they walked home to their apartment and checked over their accounts to see how many credits they'd received for work in addition to tips and bribes which were also part of the regular income they got. "Still a little short," Jyn said after doing the math. "And by the time we get the funds, the ship we want will be gone, just our luck. We need something else to push us over the edge." They had a ship picked out, but there was only one left in all of Coruscant.

"What do you suggest? We rob somebody?" Cassian asked.

"Sure wouldn't be the first time we've stolen something, but you'll be surprised to hear me say _no,_ " Jyn responded, to which Cassian stopped in predicted surprise. Jyn then stopped and faced him. "I have a regular that owes me one," she said. "We might be able to get him to give us the credits."

"Who?" Cassian asked.

"Judge Ely," she responded.

His eyes widened. " _What?_ " Judge Ely was one of the most powerful members of the court system in Coruscant. He was also incredibly dangerous.

"He visited one night a few months ago on a night you were off," she explained. "Someone tried to assault him outside over municipal matters but I knocked them out."

"Oh I'm sure you did," Cassian said, crossing his arms with a somewhat sarcastic tone. He'd seen Jyn do worse. Ever since Jedha, nothing surprised him anymore when it came to her defense abilities, self or otherwise.

Jyn continued, " _Anyway_ , he offered me a job part of his security, but I refused since we were trying to keep a low profile. He said in return that if there was anything he could ever do for me to get in touch with him."

"First of all, why didn't you tell me about this?" Cassian asked. "Second of all... what was a man like Ely doing at a club _here?_ Surely there are ritzier places he could be spending his time."

"All I know about him is he worked his way up to power," Jyn answered. "Started out as nothing. But I didn't tell you because it wasn't important at the time. And I wasn't going to flat out ask for money right then and there. It didn't even cross my mind at the time."

Cassian said, "I still feel like I should have been consulted. We could have been out of here _months_ ago."

She shook her head. "Well it's done now," she said. "And we can either take him up on his offer, or we can risk the ship being gone by the time we make the remaining credits. Your decision, but we can argue about it later."

"Oh so this one is _my_ decision?" Cassian asked, getting testy with her.

"Cass, I said we could argue about this _later_ ," she rebutted. "Do you want to get off Coruscant or not?"

He sighed. He was still pretty pissed, but he'd argue with her about it later. For now they would have to seek out Judge Ely, more than likely at the courthouses, and hope their last ditch attempt at a miracle would pay off. "Fine. Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment if you liked it, for comments determine how much I keep posting!
> 
> Song lyrics in the intro are from "The Bones" by Maren Morris with Hozier
> 
> I'll see you all as soon as I get back from my trip and get another chapter ready! :)


	8. you enchant me even when you're not around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let's talk about the Force:
> 
> The Force does whatever the writer needs it to do.
> 
> Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
> 
> ...also you know the drill. Enjoy!

_If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down_

_  
I'm latching on babe_

_  
Now I know what I have found_

_  
I feel we're close enough_

_  
I wanna lock in your love_

_  
I think we're close enough_

_  
Could I lock in your love, baby?_

**35 ABY**

"It's been six hours, Poe," Finn said. "And it's getting dark. You need to come inside and rest."

Poe had been sitting in one spot for the last six hours, but he wasn't listening to Finn. He was going to stay right here until Rey came back, wherever she had gone, because he wasn't about to abandon her. Rose had called for Jannah to send a ship to extract her from Scarif and it was on its way as they spoke, but with it getting darker, they weren't expecting it until morning and everyone was winding down for the night. Finn had brought Poe some food earlier, but he barely touched it. He was too worried about Rey. Witnessing her vanish into the ether was terrifying, and despite Finn's insistence that she knew what she was doing, he was still apprehensive about moving or doing anything other than sitting in this exact spot where she had disappeared.

"I'm fine," Poe said. "I can rest right here." Not like it took a lot of energy to sit here, but he could lay in this spot until Rey came back if he needed to.

"At least let me bring you a blanket and a pillow," Finn offered.

"Fine," Poe said, not meaning to sound ungrateful, but it came off as blasé. He just wanted Rey to come back, that was all he could think about. They had finally cleared things up between them, and suddenly she was gone. He knew she hadn't intentionally left, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

Finn left and returned a few moments later with a blanket, a pillow, and BB-8 on his tail. Poe took the blanket and pillow, and rubbed the top of BB-8's dome. "You don't have to stay out here with me. You should get powered up for tomorrow."

"He's been plugged in all day," Finn told him. "He wanted to be here with you tonight while you slept.

Poe was touched by that. Beebee was his most loyal companion. He didn't know what he'd do without the orange and white joy in his life. Beebee beeped happily and nudged Poe gently. "Thank you, Buddy. Though I don't know how much sleep I'll be getting." Beebee beeped, sad. Poe kissed the top of his dome. "I know, Buddy. I'm worried about her too."

-

_"Papi, Papi, come!"_

The man chuckled. _"I'm here, mi amor, I'm here.”_

 _"You're so excited, aren't you?"_ the woman asked the little girl.

 _"Yes, Mama!"_ Bodhi answered while giggling and jumping up and down outside of the doorway where Rey had watched them walk through.

 _Where am I? Why can't I see their faces?_ It had to be Jyn and Cassian. And this was their child. But when was this? It had to be at least after 4 ABY. Based on their voices, it was probably much later than that. They sounded much older.

Rey was staring at the little girl standing next to a large container, excitedly waiting for helping opening it. Finally the man stepped in view so Rey could see his face. It was a much older Cassian, probably in his forties, and he knelt down next to the girl. _"Are you ready, mi amor?"_

 _"Yes yes yes!"_ she exclaimed. The woman, still assuming it was Jyn, chuckled.

Cassian took her hand and guided her on what buttons to press on the container. Once the combination was met, it unlocked and they moved back so the sides fell off. It was a miniature speeder bike. The little girl squealed and giggled, hugging Cassian's leg. _"Thank you thank you thank you! Thank you, Papi; thank you, Mama!"_ She rushed over to hug the leg of the woman.

 _"You're so very welcome, my Bodhi. But that's not all you're getting,"_ she replied.

Bodhi gasped. _"There more?!"_

_"Yes, my darling. Do you remember the story Mommy told you about her necklace?"_

Rey suddenly perked up.

 _"Yeah,"_ Bodhi answered.

 _"Well I was about your age when my mother gave it to me."_ That confirmed once and for all that it was Jyn. _"I wish it were under better circumstances, but it is my most treasured possession... and now I want to give it to the person I treasure most in the entire world: you."_

Rey was knocked around again as her view moved. She was caught by the blue light and held up as she was suddenly turned one hundred and eighty degrees. It was then that she could see the face of a forty-something Jyn.

She wasn't wearing the necklace... but she was reaching around Bodhi's neck, almost like...

That was when it hit her. Bringing up the necklace; talking about a gift; wanting to give it to her. Add onto that the small diamond like shape of Rey's prison, the way the lines formed...

She was _inside_ the necklace.

-

**1 ABY**

"Pleasure to see you again, Mondo," Jyn said with a hint of sarcasm as she walked up to the security guard of Judge Ely's office. "Is the Honorable Judge in?"

"What do you want, Dawn?" he asked, addressing her by the last name he thought she possessed. "And who's this?" he asked, indicating Cassian.

"This is my friend, Joreth Sward," Jyn answered. "We have a request for His Honor."

Mondo growled and turned to the door, opening it and stepped inside, closing it behind him.

Cassian looked at Jyn. "You sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"I thought you were pissed at me for not telling you in the first place," Jyn said.

"Doesn't make Ely any less dangerous," he pointed out.

Jyn couldn't respond as Mondo came out the door. "The Judge will see you." He held the door open for them.

Walking past the large security guard, Jyn and Cassian strode into the office and down the small hallway to where Judge Ely was seated at his desk. He turned off a transmission he was in the middle of and stood up. Arms opening, he said, “Kestrel Dawn! I thought you’d never come.”

Jyn felt awkward as the judge embraced her, and she only slightly returned it as they were on a bit of a mission here to get some credits and get the hell off this planet. “Thank you for seeing us, Your Honor. This is my… _friend_ … Joreth Sward.”

Judge Ely held out a hand politely to _Joreth_. “Pleasure to meet you, Sir.”

Reluctantly, Cassian took his hand. “The pleasure is all mine, Your Honor.”

“Now what can I do for you both?” the judge asked her.

“I’d like to cash in on that favor you own me,” Jyn said. “My friend and I are in need of some… credits. We’re in need of a ship, and it’s the last one on the planet at a decent price, but we’re a little short.”

He nodded. “I see. And how short are we talking?” Jyn answered. He laughed. “I suppose to the poor and middle classes, that much would seem like a lot. Where is the ship?” Jyn told him its current location. “I’ll do you one better, Ms. Dawn. I’ll buy the ship _for_ you, you keep what credits you have.”

That was surprising, but Jyn wasn’t stupid. “What’s the catch? And by that I mean, _why_ is there a catch? I know you’re aware that _you’re_ the one who owes _me_.”

Judge Ely held up his hands. “There’s one teensy little thing I need done, something I’m apprehensive about sending my security team to do. I need people on the outside. And there’s no catch other than I’d like you to do it.”

“And what’s that?” Cassian asked.

“I need some information gathered,” he explained. “A witness is coming in for a case I’m seeing next week, and I’m not entirely sure they’re telling the truth about what they saw. In fact I’m positive it was all fabricated.”

Jyn crossed her arms. “So you want us to gather information on this witness? What makes you think we’re capable of doing something like that?”

“Because I know who you really are _Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor_.”

-

**35 ABY**

“Ben! How do I get out of here?!”

There was no answer. She was trapped in the necklace, within the Force. But why? There had to be a way out of here. Perhaps if she focused on something… some _one_. Maybe it would pull her back to reality.

Who was the one person who could pull her back? Finn? No… as much as she loved and adored Finn, it wasn’t him. He didn’t have that kind of control of the Force. The connection had to be deeper. There was only one living person with whom she had a connection that deep…

_“Poe.”_

-

“Rey?”

Poe had managed to fall asleep for some time, and it was the middle of the night now, but he’d woken up to the sound of someone calling his name. It was Rey’s voice, he couldn’t mistake it for anyone else’s. He could hear her, but he couldn’t see her.

“Rey? My darling, I’m here,” he said. “Come back to me, please.” He was so desperate for her, he needed to know she was okay. The only way that would happen was if she came back to him and was safe in his arms.

-

“Poe, hear me,” she said. “Please hear me.” Rey tuned everything else out of her mind. She had to focus on Poe. He was the only person who had a connection deep enough with her that could bring her back to reality. “Poe…”

_“My darling, I’m here.”_

She gasped, turning around. “Poe?”

_“Rey?”_

“Poe, I’m here! Focus on me! I’m trapped in the Force! I need an anchor to come back!”

_“I’m here. Come to me, my darling.”_

A strange euphoria washed over her as the blue lines started to disappear. A single line swirled around her and jolted into her chest, the white space she was surrounded by disappearing. It was getting dark. _Too_ dark for her liking.

“Poe?!?”

_“I’m here, Rey. Come to me.”_

And then… it was entirely dark.

-

“Finn! Rose! Chewie!”

Poe ran into the Falcon carrying Rey’s unconscious body, Beebee on his heels and eventually zooming past him. They all retreated from their quarters to find him laying her on the couch. As they realized what was happening, they all sprung into action, but Rose heard something going on outside the ship.

“It’s Jannah!” she exclaimed. “They made it!”

Finn and Poe were trending to Rey. The former checked her breathing while the latter checked her pulse. “It’s weak, but it’s there,” Poe told Finn.

“Her breath is _cold_ ,” Finn reported. “It’s not normal.”

Poe noticed the rest of her was rather cold too. “Kriff,” he said, ripping his jacket off to wrap around her. The new arrivals ran onto the ship with Rose. “Jannah, does that ship have a Bacta tank?”

“A pretty decent sized one, yeah,” she answered.

He looked at Finn. “Help me get her over there. Jannah, get it started.”

Within minutes they were on the newly arrived ship putting the increasingly cold Rey into the Bacta tank. The medical droid helped adjust the Bacta as needed to accommodate Rey’s needs, but it seemed like there was a new problem.

“It’s _what_?” Poe asked Threepio who had translated the medical droid’s message.

“The Bacta is freezing, General Dameron,” Threepio repeated. “It’s not doing Mistress Rey any good.”

“Kriff, get her out of there!” he demanded.

The medical droid beeped something else. Threepio translated, “There’s a strange anomaly around her heart. It looks like a bright blue star. It appears to be the source of the freezing.”

“Can you get it out of her?” Finn asked the medical droid. It answered that it couldn’t.

Poe was in a panic. “We have to get her out of that tank!”

The droid was commanded to open the tank. Poe and Finn climbed up on the stairs next to it and pulled Rey out, the water _freezing_ whereas before it had been considerably warm. The two brought her over to the table and laid her down, opening her tunic just enough to see her chest was glowing bright blue.

“What in the blazes is _that_?” Jannah asked.

“I don’t know,” Finn said. “But I don’t like it.”

-

**1 ABY**

“Let’s not play games anymore,” Judge Ely said as Cassian and Jyn sat down in his sitting area, a servant droid bringing them tea. “After I met you, Ms. Erso, I did a deep dive into the name you gave me; your alias. Kestrel Dawn. It was closely associated with a Liana Hallik, an escaped convict of the Empire. After doing a little more research, I eventually tracked it down to Jyn Erso, daughter of Galen and Lyra, two of my dear friend Orson Krennic’s most gifted scientists. Additionally, it was associated with Saw Gerrera’s band of misfits for a time. You were quite the find, Ms. Erso. Finding out you were using an alias on Coruscant, working as a bouncer at one of the most filthy clubs in all of the Underworld?”

Was there poison in this tea? Jyn was apprehensive about drinking it. She looked at Cassian who quickly agreed with his eyes that they shouldn’t. But he was also pissed at her. Their cover was somehow blown.

Looking back at Ely, the judge continued, “So I found out everything I could about your time here, and I couldn’t help but wonder who the man you were shacking up with was. I knew I’d seen the name Joreth Sward a few times over the years once I discovered that was who Kestrel Dawn was sharing a flat with. It linked back to Captain Cassian Andor of the Rebel Alliance, an intelligence officer who was supposedly left for dead on Scarif.”

“What’s your point?” Cassian asked.

The judge chuckled. “Please, Captain Andor, no need to be hostile. I won’t reveal your true identities, and I’ll buy you your ship if you do this one small favor for me.”

Cassian had known this was a big mistake. He worried about saying both yes _and_ no, and neither of them could actually predict what would happen in either outcome. The two of them exchanged a glance before looking back at the judge. “As long as you _swear_ you’ll keep our identities a secret,” Jyn said. “ _And_ pay us in the form of our ship.”

Ely smiled. “Wonderful.” He tossed them a small disk. Cassian caught it. “That’s all the information you’ll need to know. You’ll have your ship once the information _I_ need to know is safely in this office. You’ll bring it straight here, _no_ transmissions. I don’t want to risk it being intercepted.”

Jyn asked, “You’re not even going to tell us anything about this other than the vague “witness” story? And furthermore, shouldn’t an attorney be doing this?”

“I’m helping the defense out in this case,” Ely answered as he stood up. “Don’t worry, you won’t come to regret it one day.”

“We’d better not,” Cassian mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment if you liked it, for comments determine how much I keep posting!
> 
> Song lyrics in the intro are from "Latch" by Disclosure feat. Sam Smith


End file.
